Little baby, big baby

Vegetarian Baby and Child, Sept-Oct, 2002 by Sarah Martin

The comments I receive when people learn that my son Sagan is still almost exclusively breastfed are strangely similar to the comments my daughter received as a baby. I'm told that he's too big to subsist on breastmilk alone and that I should be giving him solids daily. Maya was a tiny peanut, and I was often told that she needed solids so she could gain some weight. It's a double-edged sword. I get a similar reaction when folks find out about our vegetarian lifestyle.

There are people who think that my big baby will "need" meat in his diet, or at least dairy products, because of his size. They suggest that I add meat and dairy to my diet so he can get it through my breastmilk. There are people who think my pixie of a daughter needs animal products to "put a little meat on her bones." They don't seem to care that both children are exceptionally healthy and active or that Maya has turned down offers of meat because she chooses not to eat dead animals.

Breastfeeding in Western culture is strikingly similar to raising a vegetarian child. In both cases, the child is consuming a diet outside the norm. Pediatricians, friends and family often don't understand the nutritional elements of breastfeeding or vegetarianism. The big difference, though, is that while most people in our culture understand and accept the benefits of breastfeeding, they seem to be much more skeptical about vegetarianism. When I mention that Maya is vegan (and explain what that entails), I'm met with raised eyebrows and dubious sighs. People often assume that's the reason she is so petite.

On the other hand, non-vegetarians often remark that Sagan "must love to eat." I usually agree enthusiastically. After all, he's an avid nurser who does enjoy the occasional bite of mango or sweet potato off my plate. But my omission is a little deceptive; he's not consuming the tiny jars of chicken and noodles they are probably imagining.

When the topic of vegetarianism does come up, it helps to have some nutritional facts on hand. I'm quick to respond that Maya receives plenty of protein from tofu, nuts, beans and other plant sources. Her fats come from avocados, flaxseed oil and olives. She also enjoys a wide variety of fruits and vegetables. In addition, she benefits from extended breastfeeding. I point out that Sagan will partake of the same healthy diet when he decides he wants it.

We're lucky to live in a vegetarian-friendly city and a very vegetarian-friendly neighborhood. The local coffee shops don't blink when I ask for soymilk for Maya. Our favorite restaurant is delighted to leave the cheese off her refried beans. Walking the neighborhood daily and getting to know the people in our community has made it easier to maintain our vegetarian diet. Friends and neighbors know about our dietary choices and don't offer Maya anything questionable without asking me first. On occasion, she does try items containing dairy products. I've also discovered that I can provide vegan snacks that Maya's friends love, like hummus or fruit smoothies. Recently, the older, omnivorous children of my best friend asked me to send their mom the recipe for my vegan chocolate chip cookies!

I think vegetarians are bound to occasionally experience criticism, whether their babies are large or small. It has helped us to get to know our community and give straightforward, honest answers when questions about our plant-based diet come up. I'm also honest with Maya about why we eat the way we do. She understands where meat and dairy come from and can explain in simple terms that she does not eat dead animals. My husband does eat meat and Maya has been given the choice of tasting it if she wants to. She declined. Sagan will get that same choice once he understands what meat is. For now, though, both my children have proven that large and small babies can thrive on a vegetarian diet and that is the best evidence I've found to support our lifestyle.

--Sarah Martin has been vegetarian for seven years, vegan for two. She is a stay-at-home mom and poet who lives in Louisville, KY.