Jest a minute

VFW Magazine, Nov, 2002

* A lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw a family eating grass by the side of the road. He ordered his driver to stop the car. "why are you eating grass?" he asked the father.

"We don't have any money for food," the man replied.

"Come along with me then," the lawyer said.

"But sir," the man said, "I have a wife and two children."

"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.

The family climbed into the limousine. The poor man said, "Sir, you are extremely kind. Thank you."

The lawyer replied, "No problem. My grass at home is almost two inches tall."

Ken Bruer, Port Jeff Station, N. Y.

* Psychiatrist to patient: "Any problem with hearing voices?

Patient: "No, Doc. They're coming in loud and clear!"

Walt Korb, Dalton, Pa.

* Two pseudo-intellectual counterfeiters wanted to pass an $18 bill. "Let's go into this country store and try to get it cashed."

The old store owner asked, "Can I help you fellas?"

One of them said, "Can you cash this $18 bill for us?"

The store owner quickly replied: "Shore I can. Would you like two nines or three sixes?"

Barney Cumbie, Irvington, Ala.

* Three proven rules for good, healthy teeth:

1. Brush after every meal.

2. See your dentist twice a year.

3. Mind your own business.

George V. Kottwitz, Edwardsville, Ill.

* A man was in a theater with his dog on the seat next to him. After the show another patron said, "I was sure surprised at how well-behaved your dog was during the movie."

The dog owner said, "I, too, was surprised. He didn't care for the book."

Ken Vinion, Fort Benton, Mont.

* It may be tough to keep up with your neighbors, but just think how hard it is on them to keep ahead.

Joseph Vargo, West Allis, Wis.