Jest a minute

VFW Magazine, March, 2003

* A woman went to a Florida lemon grove to apply for a job, but the foreman thought she seemed way too qualified for the position. "Do you have any actual experience picking lemons?" he asked.

"Well, I think I do" she replied. "I've been divorced three times?'

Edmund R. Gucwa, Detroit, Mich.

* A pair of identical twins, dressed exactly alike, ordered drinks at a bar. A drunk staggered by, took a long look at them, then shuddered and ordered himself another drink.

"Take it easy, fella," said one of the twins. "You're not seeing things. We happen to be identical twins."

"All four of you?" the stoned one asked.

Richard Nosal, Columbus, Neb.

* Life is like a doughnut; you are either in the dough or in the hole.

Bob Jewett, Grand Island, Neb.

* If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,

If you can overlook when people take things out on you when through no fault of yours, something goes wrong,

If you can take criticism without resentment,

If you can face the world without lies and deceit,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

If you can do all these things,

Then you are probably the family dog.

Ben Karwacki, Homewood, Ill.

Heard a Good Joke Lately?

Send in a good, clean joke and we'll publish it along with your name, city, and state. Jokes must be short in length and may be edited for style. Providing the source of the joke is mandatory for copyright reasons. Send to: Jest A Minute, VFW Magazine, 406 W. 34th St., Kansas City, MO 64111.