Sexuality in the Old Testament: strong as death, unquenchable as fire

Currents in Theology and Mission, Feb, 2003 by Esther M. Menn

The woman whom we might consider the survivor of rape is not consulted in this case, although it should be acknowledge that the sense of the word translated "violated" includes intercourse with an unmarried daughter without the permission of the father or other male relatives, regardless of the woman's consent. Even with this qualification, this law offends our understanding of the independent legal agency of a woman to make her own decisions about sexuality and marriage after attaining a certain age.

There are laws intended to protect a woman from abuses of the disparity of power between husband and wife within Israelite marriage, such as this one preventing a husband's wrongful accusation of his wife for not being a virgin at their marriage, which if true would be grounds for stoning her:

Suppose a man marries a woman, but after going in to her, he dislike her and makes up charges against her, slandering her by saying, "I married this woman; but when I lay with her, I did not find evidence of her virginity." The father of the young woman and her mother shall then submit the evidence of the young woman's virginity to the elders of the city at the city gate. The father of the young woman shall say to the elders: I gave my daughter in marriage to this man, but he dislikes her. Now he has made up charges against her, saying, I did not find evidence of your daughter's virginity. But here is the evidence of my daughter's virginity. Then they shall spread out the cloth before the elders of the town. The elders of that town shall take the man and punish him; and they shall fine him one hundred shekels of silver (which they shall give to the young woman's father) because he has slandered a virgin of Israel. She shall remain his wife; he shall not be permitted to divorce her as longs as he lives. (Deut 22:13-19)

This law has the noble purpose of protecting a woman's security in marriage, by ensuring that she not be arbitrarily rejected after her virginity is gone. Yet the thought of the wife's parents with the bloody sheet that they've kept since the wedding night, and of the elders of the town poring over it together is repugnant to the contemporary imagination, as is the ruling that the disliked wife shall forever remain within this difficult marriage.

Similarly, the laws concerning adultery reveal the difference between Israelite society and our own. Take for example this law from Leviticus: "If a man commits adultery with the wife of his neighbor, both the adulterer and the adulteress shall be put to death" (Lev 20:10). Adultery in Israelite law is defined as sexual intercourse involving a married woman. Married men may have sexual relations outside of marriage, as long as they are not with a married woman. By contrast, married women are restricted to their husbands, who control their sexuality for the establishment of his children's paternity. Today we have a broader ethical norm against adultery, which includes not only the wife's but also the husband's sexual relations outside of marriage, once again reflecting the difference in women's social status. In another way, however, we are more lenient, in that we do not impose the death sentence for adulterers.