How my thinking has changed: how I lost my indelible mark and found it again

Catholic New Times, July 3, 2005 by Emil Kutarna

I received my indelible mark of holy priesthood at Holy Rosary Cathedral; Regina, on the day of my ordination May 29, 1955.

When it happened, I think I felt a kind of warm spot right in the middle of my chest when Bishop O'Neil laid his two bony hands on my head. I was made a priest for ever.

But I lost my indelible mark of priesthood at the Edmonton Inn at the Corpus Canada National Conference, Nov. 3, 1990. When that happened, I instinctively crossed my hands over my chest and looked down in disbelief, as our keynote speaker Tad Guzie solemnly pronounced those fateful words: "There is no indelible mark."

Instead of others silently imposing their hands on my head as they had done at my ordination, this time those present looked at me in silence and nodded their heads in agreement. In a sense I was devastated. It was true--my dispensation really did reduce me to the lay state.

My indelible mark had been so much a part of me for 16 clerical years, and then 19 non-clerical, happily married years.

But wait! After all those years, could I let go of something so precious so easily? No, I had to dig out my old seminary textbooks. What about "De Fide" stuff?. Will this be a test of my faith?

In Manuale Theologiae Dogmaticae, J.M Herve, in 1936, wrote: "Sacramentum Ordinis imprimitur character et infunditur gratiae augmentum [De fide]". So there!

Then it says, for more information about this character, go to page 471. There Herve writes that the Council of Florence (1439), solemnly defined the Council of Trent's session 7, canon 9, declaration 852: "Si quis dixit, in tribus sacramentibus, Baptismo scilicet, Confirmatione et Ordine, non imprimi characterem in anima, hoc est, signum quoddam spirituale et indelibile, unde ea iterari non possunt: anathema sit."

Well, there you go, I'm sitting on an anathema. I know that a lot of you guys have kept your old seminary textbooks. Look it up.

Furthermore, if I didn't have that indelible mark, then tell me, pray, why do I still dream of getting ready to say Mass? Others have admitted to me that they dream likewise. Doesn't that prove something?

Ponder. Ponder. Ponder. Twelve years later, the pondering pays off.

I always suspected that there is a connection between psychology and religion. Having taught psychology for sixteen years, it finally dawned on me that there is a connection between the indelible mark and personality development. Significant events in anyone's life leave a lasting, if not indelible, impression upon one's personality. The experience of motherhood is a good example. A mother is a mother for life.

In like manner, seminary training, ordination and all the fuss that goes with it, how people act toward the priest, the ministry that a priest does that is unique in society--these must leave an indelible mark of special character on one's personality. This explains the camaraderie among priests, just as among veterans of war. They have gone through similar and unique experiences. And that has left an unmistakable and noticeable mark on their lives--the indelible mark.

Imagine my delight in realizing that I didn't have to sit on my anathema any longer.

Was Tad Guzie wrong when he said there is no mark? I say no. He was not speaking psychologically. He was speaking of religious beliefs, and the one about the indelible priestly character is very shaky from a dogmatic point of view. Even from that of ordination itself, when it is claimed Jesus ordained the 12 Today, scripture scholars and theologians of note say that Jesus never ordained anyone. But psychologically, the indelible personality stamp of priestly experience is there.

Emil Kutarna writes from Regina, Sask.