Mars and Venus: It's kind of an interplanetary upstairs-downstairs thing - Working Life - Brief Article

T+D, March, 2002 by Haidee E. Allerton

True Tales From the Workplace This true tale involves a self-employed couple who work from their home.

Man: I'll give you a ride to the train, but first I'll run out and fill the car with gas and then I'll be back to pick you up.

Woman (on her way to meet her sister for a day of museums, shopping, and dinner in the city): OK, I'll be ready in a few minutes.

So, the woman showers, dresses, and sits waiting in the kitchen for the man to return so they can leave. She waits, and waits, and waits. Now she's running late, so she calls the man on his cell phone and says, Where are you? I thought you were coming right back.

Man: I'm upstairs in the office sending out faxes.

Woman: What!? I thought you went out for gas so I've been waiting for you to get back, and now I'm going to be late.

Man: I decided to get gas on the way.

Woman: So, why didn't you tell me you didn't go out? We could've left as soon as I was ready, but I didn't know you were here all along.

Man: Hey, don't yell at me. I was just trying to do something nice for you and drive you to the train.

Objection, sustained

Here are some actual verbal exchanges that have occurred in actual courts.

Judge: "I know you, don't I?"

Defendant: "Uh, yes."

Judge: "Tell me how I know you."

Defendant: "Do I have to, judge?"

Judge: "Yes."

Defendant: "I'm your bookie."

Defendant (representing himself): "Did you get a good look at me when I stole your purse?"

Witness: "Yes, I saw you clearly." Defendant: "I should've shot you when I had the chance."

Judge: "Is there any reason you can't serve as a juror on this case?"

Juror: "I don't want to be away from my job that long."

Judge: "Can't they do without you?"

Juror: "Yes, but I don't want them to know that."

Judge: "The charge is theft of frozen chickens. Are you the defendant?"

Defendant: "No, sir! I'm the guy who stole the chickens."

Lawyer: "Tell us about the fight."

Witness: "I didn't see no fight."

Lawyer: "Tell us what you did see."

Witness: "I went to a dance and as the men swung around and changed partners, they slapped each other, and one fella hit another harder than he liked so the other one hit him back, and somebody pulled a knife and another guy pulled a gun, and there was yelling and smoke and...."

Lawyer: "Were you shot in the fracas?"

Witness: "No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel."

Source/www.bar.com

Do You Have a True Tale From the Workplace?

Tell us actual stories that happen at your work, and we'll mention you as a contributor to Working Life (or grant you anonymity, if you prefer).

Just email Haidee Allerton at worklife@astd.org or write to me at T D, 1640 King Street, Box 1443, Alexandria, VA 22313-2043.

Fame can be yours!--or a place in the Working Life witness protection program.