Check, as in stop!

T+D, July, 2003

Seeing as how this is my column and I'm on a roll...waitpersons absolutely must without further delay cease and desist from asking this question:

"Are you done, or are you still working on that?" The operative component being "working on that." I brought this atrocity to attention in the October 2002 column and, yet, this wretched practice continues-at even the best and priciest restaurants.

What are the possible responses?

"I am not 'working on that,' as you so delicately and finely phrase it. I am trying to dine leisurely and with decorum at this pretentious chi-chi establishment and attempting to enjoy this lovely dish of artfully arranged morsels for which I am paying a ridiculously inflated price."

Or, "Yeah, darn tootin' I'm still working on that, Mr. Fancypants. You just brang me a bigger fork and then leave me be!"

Or, "Working on that, yes. In fact, I've devised a process through which I might manage this project that I have been tasked with. Timeframe for completion is 20 minutes, at which time I will report out the results."

Or how about this? "I don't tip servers who prepare to take away my plate by asking whether I am 'still working on that.'"

Check, please.