A circle of friends: girl power indeed: strong bonds of community keep women energized and healthy. Here are 5 simple rituals to help you make the most of the time you spend with your gal pals

"EVERY TIME I WENT, I FELT BETTER," says Andrea Preziotti, describing her membership in Gilda's Club, a support community for cancer patients and caretakers founded in honor of the late comedienne Gilda Radner. Ironically, she joined the club with great reluctance after her mother took ill. "I was 28 at the time and most of the members were older women--I thought I wouldn't be able to relate to them. But I found it healing to be with people brought together by a common experience," recalls Preziotti, a sales assistant at GQ magazine in New York City. "You work through things like anger and guilt you just can't handle on your own. Also, women have a certain nurturing quality I wasn't getting at home, so for me it was really important to have the group."

Five years later, she's still in touch with many club members; one just invited Preziotti to her wedding. "If I feel like I'm having 'a moment,' I know I can call them and they'll explain to me what to expect because they've been there," she says.

The comfort Preziotti draws from the group might even extend her own lifespan. Emotionally satisfying friendships are especially potent palliatives for women, and are critical for well-being and longevity. One recent study, funded by the National Cancer Institute and reported in the journal Cancer, found that social support was associated with lower levels of the protein interleukin 6, a prognostic marker for ovarian cancer. Other research has indicated that a strong support system is protective against depression, chronic fatigue syndrome, high blood pressure, and recurrence of heart failure.

A propensity for healing relationships seems to be part of female genetic wiring; it maybe related to the hormone oxytocin, which is released during childbirth and also when women interact socially. Whatever the reason, women need women," declares Christine Hassler, author of 20-Something, 20-Everything: A Quarter-Life Woman's Guide to Balance and Direction. "We need them to guide Us, to be resources, and to celebrate with."

Still, putting together a circle of friends can be difficult in our peripatetic society. While e-mail is better than no contact at all with far-flung family and childhood friends, it's important to form supportive communities where,we are. A camera-phone photo can't replace a compassionate hug or a shared meal. The very technology that keeps people in touch can also be isolating when virtual experiences replace visceral ones. Similarly, when you're looking to expand your social horizons, let the Internet be a vehicle, not a destination.

new ways to play

THE BEST ADVICE is the simplest: Get out and play. "When you're doing things that bring you joy, there will be people around who are like-minded," says Hassler, "and it's important to have a support system that's like-minded." Become involved in activities that offer opportunities to interact, and then be proactive about organizing get-togethers.

"Michelle and I have overnight adventures where we get together for a mini-retreat and work on our goals," says life coach Ann Leach, who co-authored Goal Sisters: Live the Life You Want With a Little Help From Your Friends with her goal sister Michelle Beaulieu Pillen, Ph.D. "But the key is that we can be in the hotel pool swimming and splashing while talking about our health objectives--it's an active, supportive, and fun process." Leach and Pillen talk about financial aspirations while window-shopping, and encourage each other to make healthy menu choices when eating out; their Web site (goalsisters.com) offers suggestions and informative links.

Don't think you have to formalize every gathering. With the right person or group, every experience offers ways to develop rewarding relationships. Here are five ideas to get you started, whether you need to form new connections or enrich the ones you have.

1. form a circle

Women of previous generations often bonded together in sewing or quilting circles. Today's homespun options include crafts like knitting, crocheting, or scrapbooking.

You may prefer to make your circle meditative and spiritual in nature. It only takes a comfortable, quiet place for all to sit, and someone to be a timekeeper. Enhance the experience with music, candles, and calming aromatherapy scents like lavender and chamomile. Meditation groups can be nondenominational or drawn from specific world traditions, and focused on relaxation, mindfulness, or lovingkindness. If you're not experienced in the practice, guided meditations are available on CD, at alternative bookstores, or from soundstrue.com; one excellent resource is Three Meditations to Live By, a CD by yogi Rod Stryker (order it at pureyoga.com). For a better connection; Have your circle work together for a common good. Knit baby blankets for a children's hospital, bake cookies for a fundraiser, or help nursing-home residents organize their memorabilia. A meditation group can also be a prayer circle to express care for individuals or causes.