Bargain lingerie, wet PCs and elephants: if kitsch is king, then the Swap Shop is home of the throne - Reporter's Notebook

South Florida CEO, Dec, 2002 by Scott Singer

The Swap Shop, on West Sunrise in Fart Lauderdale, suffers Batman-style schizophrenia on a massive scale. By day, it's the strange love child from the unholy union of a flea market and a circus. By night, its outdoor lot transforms into a 13-screen drive-in multiplex.

The Swap Shop started as a drive-in in the 1960s, and was soon utilized as a flea market on weekends. Now, five days a week, it blends the charm of a tented refugee camp with an open-air market.

Personally, I love the Swap Shop. Recently, as I munched on peanut brittle from the "Fresh Nuts" tent (not to be confused with the "Lots of Nuts" tent) inside the center pavilion's food court, trainers led a parade of horses into the main circus ring.

The circus here is a real one, complete with horses, entertainers, and even real elephants which leave real elephant-sized dung in their wake. The elephants peeve local animal rights activists, who've taken out a billboard on Sunrise Boulevard protesting the living conditions for the big guys.

The place also dreams of being the Wisconsin State Fair. There's an area with small carnival rides, the type that carnies sneak into town in the middle of the night to assemble off a flatbed truck. The only thing missing are the corn dogs (mmmm..... corn dogs). They are probably sold somewhere on the premises, but I can't find them.

But back to the flea market. Swap Shop's radio ads scream, "Where's the Bargains?!!!" The vendors arrive to stake out their spots as early as 4:30 in the morning on weekends, because location is everything when it comes to hawking wares. Station wagons, vans, trailers and sedans all set up shop on the first-come, first-serve tarmac, laying out folding tables and tarps, then piling their wares on top of them. I get lots of bargains I didn't even know I needed - until I find them, of course!

On my most recent outing, I found, in no particular order: a stand with hundreds of cans of previously opened house paints, a lacrosse helmet, porno videos, a deli slicer with a rusty circular blade (can't wait for that corned beef!), more porno videos, discounted undergarments and an assortment of personal computers.

On sunny days, the place is packed, and there can be a frenzy for wares. When I was there, a light rain began to fall, which usually spells trouble for vendors, since most stuff is not under cover (nothing like a wet personal computer!), but it tends to keep the crowds away. And you can always stick to the covered tents close to the pavilion, where there are more permanent vendors, with some of the small spaces decorated with merchandise like a mall outlet. This is where you'll find clothes, toys and phone accessories, as well as knives, swords, and porno videos.

Something for the whole family. Even your perverted Uncle Mel.