Gay and bisexual male escorts who advertise on the Internet: understanding reasons for and effects of involvement in commercial sex

International Journal of Men's Health, Spring, 2004 by Jude M. Uy, Jeffrey T. Parsons, David S. Bimbi, Juline A. Koken, Perry N. Halkitis

   On some level, it has given me a lot of confidence. It's made me
   feel very accomplished. I never thought I could do something like
   that, that I would have bravery to say that I could do this and make
   money this way and have it go on, have it continue, to build on it.
   It's made me feel very independent and entrepreneurial. It's made
   me feel like I have a lot more control over my capacity to make
   money and to deserve that money.

Sex. Clearly, sexual activity is an integral part of an escort's profession, with 18 participants (39.1%) in this study citing their enjoyment of sex as a reason for being in this particular line of work. Most participants were able to recall pleasurable sexual interactions with clients, and some deemed them as a critical reason for involvement in escorting. For example:

   Well, I like having sex. I also tend to like being in control.... I
   kind of enjoy the adventure involved. You know meeting new
   people, going to new places. You know all over. And to be real
   honest, it' s kind of exciting getting paid to do something like
   this. It kind of boosts your ego.

The ways sex work affects sexuality and the meanings associated with it differed phenomenologically between participants. There were, however, a number of recurrent themes that were voiced by participants regarding their sexual drive (libido), sexual repertoire and preferences, the fusion of sex and work and the division of self to accommodate sex work, and the growing mechanization and banality of sex.

A long day at the office: Changes to sexual energy. The most frequently reported effect of sex work on participants' sexuality concerns libidinal energy. A number of participants found that, since having begun this line of work, they no longer cruised for sex or were less likely to actively seek out sex for pleasure. One escort stated, "Well, because I spend so much of my sexual energy in my work, in the past year and a half, I haven't really pursued sex that much." Another participant maintained, "In my free time I don't feel as much of a need to go find someone to have sex with. I guess I feel like I'm getting satisfied through work on occasion."

What is indicated in these and other statements is that the decrease in libido is, to a certain extent, due to sex work satiating their sex drive, so much so that, for some, libidinal energy is to be conserved lest the escort is unable to perform with clients. Nine participants (19.6%) voiced such concerns. One participant stated, "I've decided if this is going to be my breadwinner, [then] I might as well save it." The reservation of one's sexual drive is seen in the following narrative:

   Even if I don't work for a day or two, I know I will. So I usually
   pretty much save my sex drive for clients. I'm getting older and
   I'm not.... I can't get off twenty times a day. So, I have to be
   sort of ready just in case. So I don't jerk off anymore really.
   Because you never know. I've sat in my apartment and jerked off to a
   video, and then the phone rings. So what are you going to do?