Ally McBeal and the Austin Noise Ordinance

0 Comments | Environmental Insider News, April 30, 2002

How dare Fox cancel my favorite television series about lawyers? Ally McBeal's legal eagles may not delve into environmental matters, but they do sing - and for that reason alone I wish this law firm would migrate to Austin. Maybe they would understand the inanity of the attempt by city grandfathers to turn this busy state capital into a quiet little town.

In a city that bills itself as "the live music capital of the world," it is strange that I have yet to meet a practicing attorney in town who also plays (or ever played) in a band (though my medical doctor does). I hardly ever see any of my attorney pals of any age or demeanor at a gig - other than one guy who specializes in the storage tank trade. But I do know that such attorneys do exist in Austin - and trust that many are working behind or even in front of the scenes to bring common sense into the noisy debate over - well, noise.

From one point of view - perhaps that of the Austin Police Department - cutting out street noise is a very good thing indeed. After all, investigating noise complaints is never any fun, because if you (as a public official) find the offending noise level to be lawful, the complainant is going to be even angrier, while if you find the band (or whatever) is playing too loud, you incur the wrath of the band, the club owners and patrons, and all of their sympathizers. Just ask the guys who have been running noise checks at the Empanada Parlour and other downtown venues.

But a noise ordinance that insists that anything over 70 decibels is taboo could have potential, for example, as a traffic control device. What is the noise level of an accelerating large motorcycle, or even an accelerating 18-wheeler? What do we really know about other noisome activities? If a jet plane hits the 75 decibel level, maybe we should ban flying, which like other fossil fuel using modes of transportation contributes to air pollution in our city. And just think of the benefits to controlling domestic violence that could ensue from the ability of police to haul folks in for yelling too loud. And what about excessive cheering at Longhorn football games?

Austin folk have been hearing about a new noise ordinance for quite a while now, and surely some changes are needed to create a playing field that is not so arbitrary. Everyone knows that excessive noise can and does interfere with enjoyment of property rights and can at times be a health and safety hazard. But people have the power to make choices, and those who choose to live nearby airports, football fields, or even music venues should not expect to be able to hear the crickets chirping all the time.

This noise debate provides an outstanding opportunity for Austin attorneys to give some pro bono time toward keeping Austin from having to find a new slogan. And, by the way, does anyone know whether there is a police band or even one from the Austin Fire Department or one comprised of City Hall employees? Or, best of all, a band called the Blasting Barristers?