"How can I make friends?" Here are some answers - teaching students about friendship

Instructor, March, 1997 by William J. Kreidler

Making friends, playing with friends, and getting along with friends are important concerns for elementary children. The following activities help them understand what makes a friend and how friends interact.

PRIMARY Activity

DOS AND DON'TS OF FRIENDSHIP

PURPOSE

To illustrate the dos and don'ts of friendship.

MATERIALS

large sheets of mural paper, markers

TIME NEEDED

30 minutes

DOS AND DONT'S OF FRIENDSHIP

1 Have pairs of students take turns tracing each other's outline on mural paper. Then, inside their partners' outlines, ask kids to write examples of friendly behavior that relate to body parts. For example, a child might write inside the head, "Thinks of fun things to do." Children who are too young to write can either dictate or draw their thoughts.

2 In the space outside of the body, have children write, draw, or dictate some of the things that friends do not do, such as "Call names" or "Hit other people." Post the friendly forms around the room.

3 Refer to the ideas written on the forms and the following prompts to launch a discussion about friendship.

"With my friends I like to..."

"My friends help me by..."

"When I have a problem with my friends, we..."

"When a friend feels bad, I..."

"A friend is..."

Record children's responses on the friendly forms.

4 As an extension, try instituting a friendly classroom lottery. Write each of the friendly behaviors kids came up with on slips of paper and put them all in a box. Explain to students that you're going to pick one slip each day and write the behavior on the board; it's their job to try to put that behavior into practice. As you pick each slip, make sure you discuss what it means. At the end of each day, ask students to assess how they've done and how it's made the classroom a better place.

INTERMEDIATE Activity

THE ABC's OF FRIENDSHIP

PURPOSE

To create a friendship alphabet and rap song.

MATERIALS

notebook paper, pencils, chart paper

TIME NEEDED

two 20-minute class periods

1 Discuss qualities friends have. Ask: How would you describe friendship to someone from another planet? How do you go about making friends with someone? What does it mean to say "To have a friend you must be a friend"?

2 Have children write the alphabet down the side of a sheet of paper, and use the concepts they've discussed to come up with at least one word for each letter of the alphabet that describes a friend or friendly behavior. Pool the results to create a class chart of friendship words and invite students to illustrate it.

3 Using the words on the friendship alphabet chart, have students work in pairs to create two couplets each for a class rap song. If children get stuck, suggest they base their couplet on a theme such as: What does a friend do when you are feeling bad? How do you help your friends? If a new student comes to our classroom, what are friendly things we could do to welcome him or her?

4 Combine the couplets into a class song, and have students learn and perform it.

WILLIAM J. KREIDLER, a classroom teacher for 20 years, currently works for Educators for Social Responsibility in Cambridge, Massachusetts, developing materials and leading teacher workshops in conflict resolution.