For the love of Tony and Joanne, Tenci, Kristi, Wayne, Robie and Ricky

Children Today, March-April, 1991 by Gail Selfridge, Hillery Meier, Mary Sullivan

Whoosh! A soccer ball bounds across a grassy field. A stampeding herd of feet follows in hot pursuit. A young boy surges ahead of the pack, makes a sweeping kick and smashes the ball into his zealously guarded opponent's net. Elated over his accomplishment, the boy flashes a broad smile. His attention quickly returns to the field and the game at hand. It is still too soon to claim victory. But in a sense, the boy has already won. He has triumphed over a difficult past with the love and support of a new family.

On the sidelines, his mother marvels over this courageous child who only a few years before had never been a team player--had never even been part of a real family. The boy is Tony. He is a child with developmental disabilities--and a bright future.

Tony's story is just one of thousands of successful special adoption stories. Adopting a child with developmental disabilities is rewarding. It is also frustrating, challenging, exhausting, and exhilarating. A wide range of emotions accompany such adoptions, but they are the same emotions experienced by parents of all children.

Each time a child with a developmental disability achieves a victory--no matter how small--that child aspires to do more. Adoptive parents of these children cannot fully describe the overwhelming sense of pride and fulfillment they experience from sharing the joy of each new accomplishment. Although these children may be developmentally challenged, they need and give love just like other children.

Perhaps a look into the lives of three families who have decided to accept and meet the challenges of adding a child with developmental disabilities will clarify what they have gained from their children...

The Robertsons

Trudy Robertson, a single parent, lives in Commerce City, Colorado with three loving girls, all of whom she has adopted. Trudy's husband had died and their six children were grown and living on their own when Trudy became a foster parent. After a time, she decided that her commitment to her foster children was a permanent one and she adopted them. All three girls have multiple challenges, but with Trudy's help they are making progress.

Trudy shares her expertise in caring for children with developmental disabilities with other parents. She serves on her county's permanency planning team with other parents and with social workers from the developmental disabilities and social services fields in order to help create support services for families of children with developmental disabilities.

Trudy says that Joanne, Tenci and Kristi are often a handful, but that they are delightful, fun and give a lot of love. Her life centers on the girls and on giving other parents who care for children with disabilities support, advice and information about the services available in the area.

Her daughter joanne is twenty-one years old. She has Pierre Robin Syndrome, Moiebus Syndrome, and a repaired cleft palate. Because of these conditions, Joanne has some paralysis of facial nerves which has severely affected her speech, but Trudy observes that anyone listening carefully can usually understand her. Although Joanne has some difficulty in learning, she is progressing well.

Trudy says that Joanne acts like a typical teenager who wants to get out of the house and live and work on her own. Joanne often thinks about living on her own but the thought that she might have to be alone at night frightens her, even though she is fairly independent. She plans to get a job and then save money to eventually move into her own apartment.

Joanne is currently receiving job training and it is hoped that a job can be found for her. If she gets an apartment, she wants a roommate. When Joanne moves out of the house, Trudy will miss her of course, but they will keep in close contact. Joanne can do her own laundry and look after the other two children for short periods of time while Trudy goes to the store. She has made a real contribution to her family.

After growing up in foster care, eleven-and-a-half-year-old Tenci came to Trudy's home last year. At this stage, she can neither walk nor talk and has uncontrolled seizures. However, Trudy says she is doing better these days since the number of seizures has declined to the level of one to three a day. Doctors are working with her, trying different medications, but so far none have been completely successful.

Before joining Trudy's family last year, Tenci had spent many of her waking hours in a wheelchair because of fear, and she had as many as 30 seizures a day. Now, Tenci has let Trudy know that she hates being in the wheelchair and wants to try walking, so Trudy lets her try to walk at home. Just recently, Tenci took a few steps. Trudy feels that if Tenci's seizures are controlled, she will be able to walk soon, because Tenci is so highly motivated.

Because of her seizures, Tenci wears a helmet to protect herself from injury if she falls. Tenci is in a regular fifth grade class. While her love is not an open, hugging kind of love, when Tenci does well or appreciates what is being done for her, she rewards others with a big smile--a smile that says "I love you."