Final rites …

Christian Century, Dec 28, 2004 by William W. McDermet, III

THOMAS LYNCH'S "'Grave affairs" (Nov. 2) espouses an old, familiar funeral-director line when he states: "The presence of the dead at their funerals ups the existential, emotional and spiritual ante in a way that virtual or symbolic memorials fail to do."

After serving as a parish pastor for 43 years and having experienced all kinds of events involving death and bereavement, I disagree. I have often made this suggestion concerning the sequence of final rites: Have the family and close selected friends go with the clergy to the cemetery. There have a brief committal--and then hold a service in the church building. After the service the family can greet friends in an appropriate room. This way the final act is not at a cemetery but within a place of worship, where the people are surrounded by the symbols of faith.

This sequence also eliminates the need for a long funeral procession, at times in dreary weather. Families who have gone this route have expressed strong satisfaction.

William W. McDennet III

Chautauqua County, N.Y.