Among the Christian Booksellers: a convention junkie's report - Christian Booksellers Association Convention

Christian Century, Sept 27, 1995 by John D. Spalding

After a quick bite to eat I had another nosebleed, so I went back to my hotel to rest and read my free copy of Tony Evans Speaks Out on Gambling and the Lottery, which Moody Press offered everyone as they left the worship service (my first CBA souvenir!).

MONDAY MORNING marked the moment I'd been waiting for, the official opening of the convention floor. I dressed quickly and raced to the convention center. Hundreds of people were huddled eagerly outside, like the crowds that block the sidewalks the first morning of Macy's after-Christmas sale. Then, as if someone had fired a starting gun, the doors flung open and we rushed in.

What lay before me was a convention junkie s heaven: more than 350 booths in aisle after aisle of books, music and "holy hardware"--the religious napkin holders sweat shirts, placards and figurines that Christian retailers are famous for. Books account for a mere 28 percent of the CBAs $3-billion-a-year retail market, so it's fitting that a task force met during the convention to discuss the possibility of dropping the word "book" from the association's name. (A cynical friend suggested they rename it the Christian Trinket Association.)

IT'S ODD that a market so heavily driven by nonbook products has an awards ceremony for books but not for the "sideline" merchandise that is its financial bread and butter. To rectify this, I have decided to give out my own awards.

Best retail booth: Every year the major contemporary Christian music companies such as Word, Benson and Alliance have the largest and, I imagine, most expensive booths at CBA. These are towering structures with private listening stations, state-of-the-art sound systems and large screens that constantly play Christian music videos, which are essentially imitations of MTV videos only less interesting because the dancing is bad (Amy Grant must wear diving boots) and all the songs basically spin the same simple message about sin and salvation.

My award goes to a T-shirt company called Living Epistles, which put itself on the map with its "Lord's Gym" sweatshirt--a play on the "Gold's Gym" shirt Arnold Schwarzenegger made famous 20 years ago. In the Living Epistles, version, the pumped-up, steroid-loaded body builder is Jesus, and he's pressing himself up on a pile of rocks, blood gushing from his crown of thorns, and the enormous cross on his back reads, "The Sin of the World." The caption says, "Bench Press This!" On the other side is Jesus, palm pierced with a railroad spike and covered in blood. Inscribed are the words, "His Pain, Your Gain."

Living Epistles has sold more than a million of these shirts, and this year the company commemorated its success with an enormous displaY--a 14-foot-tall statue of the "Lord's Gym" Jesus figure "bench pressing" the Sin of the World. The stucco structure weighed 1,500 pounds and sat atop a base resembling a wall of lockers.

Best T-shirt: There are so many shirts at CBA that you could open a T-shirt-only shopping mall with them. No less startling than the number of these shirts are the slogans they carry, such as "Salvation Is Not for Wimps," "Jesus Loved You So Much It Hurt!," "Can a Moral Wrong Be a Civil Right?," "High Flyin' Death Defyin', Devil Dunkin', Power Jam for the Spiritual `Stuff': Air Jesus," "His Blood's for You," and "God s Last Name is NOT Dammit." But the award goes to "God Made Grandmas So Kids Could Feel His Hugs."