Let the children come: young people with disabilities in church - Cover Story

Christian Century, Oct 13, 1993 by Brett Webb-Mitchell

People were bringing little children to him in order that he might touch them; and the disciples spoke sternly to them. But when Jesus saw this, he was indignant and said to them, "Let the little children come to me; do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs. Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it." And he took them up in his arms, laid his hands on them, and blessed them [Mark 10:13-16].

FOR THE PAST two years, much of my life has been spent with children struggling with emotional, behavioral and developmental problems. These children live in a secular, private institution in Florida that houses more than 100 young people from around the country. I have been consumed by the questions about life and God that my encounter with them raises. I was the director of religious life, a position that gave me a unique entry. They called me their "spiritual dude."

These children have been institutionalized because they are no longer able to navigate the rough, angry conditions of their lives. A cancerous relationship with a family, estrangement from a peer group or frustration with the unpredictable nature of life has left them struggling to discover meaning in their chaotic lives, or trying to destroy all that stands in the way of their attempts to live. I have witnessed the uncontrollable rage of a child ready to hurl a mahogany chair at staff members because his father had called to say that--for the seventh weekend in a row he wouldn't be able to come and visit. I have felt the despair of the suicidal adolescent who kept taking little bites of flesh from her forearms because it "just feels good." 1 have seen the torment of the depressed boy who sexually molested his sister, and who had himself been molested by his mother when he was four years old. And I have ached with the loneliness of the frightened, hyperactive child who kept running away from institutions and foster homes in search of the "true" home of her memories--the home she had had before her parents were sent to prison for drug possession.

Further lessons about the politics of institutional life, the bondage of being labeled "disturbed," and the faith in God that can blossom even under such conditions have been conveyed to me by four people in particular.

To other kids as well as to the staff, Steve, 16, boldly claims to be a Christian. (All names have been changed to protect confidentiality.) He had been at a fundamentalist Christian camp for adolescent boys with emotional problems until he was kicked out. "I went against Gods will and I went against their standards. I came back drunk a couple of times, and I cursed out one of the dorm parents," he explains.

Steve is searching for a community, a place where he can settle down and grow. He has been in and out of his home since he was nine years old. Since then, the longest period that he has spent with his family is three months. "They would zip me back into another hospital, or I'd do something to deserve being sent there. But now I'm working hard and I believe that Gods behind me," Steve says. "I just got news today that I will be leaving in one month if 1 keep going straight." He has no desire to go home, or to be in touch with members of his family. In the past he has demonstrated his dislike of living with them by committing various destructive acts, from torturing their animals to burning down their home.

Despite his history, Steve believes in God and in the forgiveness of sin. He experiences God as a shadow who hangs over his shoulder. Sometimes Satan is on the other shoulder, "but God has more power and he's directing me."

Steve understands the mystery of Christs act of atonement as making it possible for all people to "live under God and believe in salvation and come live with him at the time of their death." He pictures Jesus as knocking at the door of people's hearts. "A lot of people resist and that's where they mess up. Once you open that door, your life will turn around. Once you have Jesus in your heart, you have someone."

LIKE STEVE, 13-year-old Randy is estranged from his family, a family with a history of sexual abuse. He has learning difficulties, possible developmental disabilities, and some behavioral problems. Randy identifies with the biblical story of Joseph and his brothers. Like Joseph, Randy grew up in a family where he felt loved, but he was displaced. Like Josephs family, who found him in Egypt, remnants of Randy's family have been seeking him out.

Randy was the one who brought the Joseph story to my attention. After I told some Bible stories, Randy asked me if we could read together the beat-up book someone had given him about Joseph and the multicolored coat. Surprised by his excitement, I readily agreed. Once a week we met in my office. He would read a page, and then I would read a page, finishing a chapter or two a week.

To Randy, this is a story of jealousy among brothers, about how jealousy arises when we "don't have the stuff other people have." Randy thinks of Josephs story as a tale advocating good manners between people, especially in the family.