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The woman in your life
Ebony, August, 2004 by Kevin Chappell
IT was billed as the "Ladies First" concert. But as I sat in the crowd of music fans--being treated to a great show by Missy Elliott, Alicia Keys and Beyonce--a peculiar scene began to unfold.
>From the time Missy took the stage at the beginning of the show, until Beyonce left the stage and the lights came up, the Brother in the row in front of me put on his own show. tie screamed, jumped around, waved his hands, trembled with so much emotion, so much joy, that everyone in the vicinity took notice.
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Standing up (blocking my view) during the entire concert, this Brother sported an Alicia Keys T-shirt, a Missy Elliott hat and a portrait of Beyonce Knowles tattooed on his left bicep. "Just my luck," I thought to myself as I was forced to stand in order to see the stage. "I'm sitting behind what must be the biggest groupie in town."
So passionate was this Brother about the trio that, between acts, I couldn't help but strike up a conversation with him. "Big fan?" I asked. "The biggest," he said, as he proceeded to tell me how much in love he was with all three ladies.
While this Brother's passion was a little unusual, to say the least, he got me to thinking. What if more Brothers were like him? While he (or none of us for that matter) is likely to get a second look from Missy, Alicia, or Beyonce, what would happen if we exhibited similar passion with the lady in our lives that this Brother did for his favorite singers? What if, when it came to our relationships, we were more groupie-like?
What would happen if we treated the lady in our life like she was a superstar? What if we were her biggest fan, her biggest supporter? What if we let go of our inhibitions and macho pretends, and displayed a love for her that knew no bounds, exhibited a shameless passion, zeal and enthusiasm for her that couldn't be questioned?
What if we screamed with unbridled joy every time she walked into the room? Just playing. But really, when you think about it, could it be that many of the heartaches and headaches that we encounter in our relationships are a direct result of our lack of regard for our lady? Indeed some of us are guilty of treating our significant other like our "insignificant" other, treating the love of our life as if she was, well, just another lady. We do this, even though inside we know that she is a good woman.
Instead of considering ourselves fortunate to have her, too often we have the "she's lucky that she's got me" mentality, a twisted view of relationships that is held by many Brothers, a view that prevents us from opening up, prevents us from living and loving at the level that we are capable of.
What we fail to realize is that by holding back our love and passion, many times we shortchange ourselves. Many times, being a little more complimentary of her can mean the difference in her heading for the door or being head-over-heels in love with you, her being with you or being deeply in love with you. Relationships are all about give and take, care and concern. Treating a lady like a superstar starts with treating her with respect, caring about her well-being and happiness, showing her that she matters. It means being faithful to her, honest with her, being there for her. It means going the extra mile to show her that you're thinking about her.
It's been said that women are the great reciprocators. The way you treat them is the way you will be treated in return. Like the concert's title, "Ladies First," by putting your lady first, by giving her the superstar treatment, you might just find that she is indeed worthy of you being her No. 1 fan.
COPYRIGHT 2004 Johnson Publishing Co.
COPYRIGHT 2004 Gale Group
