INFIDELITY II Why Women Cheat

Ebony, Dec, 1998 by Lynn Norment

Dr. Berry and other marriage counselors say many women are less thrilled about being wives and all that marriage entails. Such a situation may drive the working woman to have an affair. She feels she is not getting the support she needs from her husband, and neither devotes time nor energy to nurturing the marriage. At the same time, the woman is getting attention, compliments and lunch invitations from a coworker or a client. It could be the beginning of subtle seduction.

Despite the numerous reasons that women give for cheating, none serves as justification for this unfaithful act that is devastating to couples and their marriages. It is not just about sex; adultery is the intimate betrayal of the marriage contract. Though a 1997 University of Chicago study showed that nearly one-fifth of Americans admit they have cheated, 78 percent said infidelity is always wrong.

Some experts say men and women both should be wary of the traditional excuse of blaming their partners for their cheating ways. Marriage and sex are 50-50 propositions in which individuals are responsible for their own emotional satisfaction as well as their own orgasms. If you are not getting what you need in your relationship, you should try to work out the problem with your mate. If that fails, you should either adapt to the situation, draw up a mutually satisfactory agreement--or move on.

It would be prudent for couples to reassess their relationships and try to breathe new life, excitement and romance into their marriages. Without sufficient stimulation, any long-term relationship will grow stale. Successful and happy relationships blend friendship and companionship with passion and sex in a cycle of ever-changing intensities.