How To Plan A Carefree Week - planning a break from the usually busy schedule of a working mother

Ebony, Nov, 1999 by Kelly Starling

9 tips from working women who know the secret

WORKING a full-time job can be a full-time headache. But for mothers with careers, the grind never ends. They're on call 24 hours a day with no time off for sickness or bonus pay for a job well done. Work at home--particularly with little ones who need constant attention--can be even more taxing than a day at the office. Put those two environments together and you have the nonstop, chaotic world of working moms.

The breaks--a rare luxury--become puzzles for busy mothers who wonder what to tackle next--collecting the laundry, drying the dishes, preparing lunches for the next day. Lost in the daily demands of home and office, women can forget to honor those simple moments that make life precious--reading a book to their children, cuddling with a significant other or making time for themselves.

"There's an old saying that man works from sunup to sundown but a woman's work is never done," says Paula Young Shelton, coordinator of the parent empowerment project of the National Black Child Development Institute. "Black women have always been working mothers, but as parents we must be clear about what is most important. You can only miss so many school plays before it starts to affect your children."

Here are nine tips from working mothers and child development experts who know the secret to carefree living through creative planning:

1. Plan ahead

The key to freeing your time for more meaningful endeavors, says Barbara Bowman, is cutting down on unnecessary chores and doing what you can in advance.

Rather than fuss with your kids each morning as you try to head for work, lay out clothes for them and yourself the night before. Or better, plan a week's worth of outfits for all of you on a Sunday afternoon. Encourage your children to help. Then you can check out their choices to make sure the colors match and the ensembles don't look too outrageous.

"Kids can learn very early in life to help choose their clothes," says Bowman, president of the Erikson Institute for Advanced Study in Child Development. "You can have the battle about what to wear the night before rather than having it that morning. You can make sure the outfit is appropriate before you go to bed and save a lot of time."

Another time-saving tip, she says, is to buy clothes for children that do not require ironing. That way, they can just put them on and go. You can also do laundry on Sundays and give children baths at night to prevent morning stress.

Preparing meals is another place to conserve time.

"Cook twice as much as you need and put half of it into the freezer," says Bowman. "Then you can just zap it for dinner. That works really well with things like spaghetti sauce and meatloaf."

For ease at lunch time, try freezing a week's worth of sandwiches and defrosting them as needed each day. Experts say parents shouldn't feel guilty about finding ways to get meals ready faster. More important than slaving in the kitchen is eating together as a family.

"I think we get caught up in trying to do what our parents did when people cooked fabulous meals all the time," says Shelton, mother of two young boys. "We have to just let it go. It's okay to have frozen dinners, pizza or that frozen casserole from last Sunday if it means having quality time to spend with your children. It's really important to sit down at meals together. It gives you time to check up on them and make sure you know how they're doing."

2. Give children chores

Lisa Adams works in an affirmative action consulting business from her Chicago home, but she faces the same struggle for time that challenges other working moms. To give her more one-on-one time with her toddler son, Raymond Jr., and 3-year-old daughter, Kaylyn, Adams involves the girl in chores. She and Kaylyn may sit side-by-side on an inflated couch in the children's playroom as the mother separates her husband's shirts from the rest of the laundry. The girl can count them and put them in the bag that they take to the cleaners. Giving her simple chores teaches her responsibility and helps with her counting, Adams says.

"She also helps me fold clothes and sweep the kitchen floor," says the thirty-something mother. "She knows where the dirty clothes hamper and her closet are located."

These easy lessons can prove wonderful timesavers and teach your children independence. Bowman says children as young as 3 or 4 can help in the kitchen by buttering the bread, putting napkins on the table or separating slices of cheese for sandwiches.

"Having children in the kitchen with you is important because it gives you time to with your children," says Bowman. "It's not always just to keep you company. It's also an opportunity for preschool-aged kids to increase their vocabulary as you talk about what you're cooking or tell family stories about how a certain dish was prepared."

When you go grocery shopping, you can involve young kids by asking them to find the yellow fruit in the produce section or challenging them to bring you an apple. Turn lessons into games and kids will eagerly embrace them, experts say. But even without the fun, mothers should encourage children to do things on their own.