Balancing family and career: do-it-all mom successfully combines workday and parental duties - Parenting - Theresa Cropper

Ebony, Nov, 2002 by Marsha Gilbert

THERESA Cropper rushes home to her townhouse on Chicago's near South Side to get her sons ready for their 5 p.m. soccer practices. After she changes clothes, she makes sure that Chad Kyles, 13, and Quinn Kyles, 10, remember to pack cleats, kneepads, socks, shin guards and ice packs.

Even though they are running late, Cropper stops inspecting their bags to hug and kiss her "angel boys." She licks her fingertips to reshape their eyebrows and playfully pats their hair. "Too much oil," she advises. She sprays each boy with insect repellant before they load up the station wagon to leave.

Cropper and the boys' father, Dwain Kyles, were divorced five years ago, and he shares the chauffeuring and parenting. She works as dean of students at Northwestern University Law School and is an active part of her sons' lives while managing to fit in a little time for herself.

Her day begins before sunrise, either walking with neighbors for exercise or just spending quiet time at home collecting herself. Later, she wakes her sons and checks the temperature, heart rate and blood pressure of Quinn, who had a heart transplant when he was 13 days old. He takes medication, but doesn't have any physical limitations from the procedure, Cropper says.

At breakfast, the family checks the calendar and makes plans for after-school activities. They discuss whether the boys need to go to soccer practice, swimming class, come to Cropper's job, or go grocery shopping with her. The single mom's written instructions help her sons remember some daily routines. "A poster by the kitchen light reminds my boys how to leave the kitchen," Cropper says. "One at the front door reminds them what to take with them on the way out. We inspect each other at the door."

With all of her responsibilities, Cropper sometimes has to combine her workday and family life so that she can spend more time with her children. "Most days I work more than eight hours," Cropper says. "I balance my day by doing lunch at the kids' school, reading while they're at recess or volunteering to work with their teachers." Cropper helps in ways such as making copies, taking information off bulletin boards or getting coffee. "Children do better when their parents are active at their school."

Family time together doesn't include much TV, but the boys are "locked into" watching Big Brother because, Cropper says, "It teaches social dynamics and lessons. There are so many teaching opportunities with the show."

Instead of spending too much time watching TV most nights, Cropper and her sons sit on her bed "to gossip," catch up on the day's events and ask questions. "They are very animated when talking about what's happening in their lives," she says. "As the mother of boys, I've learned that you have to be quiet and listen. Boys take a little longer to get into the conversation. I'm fascinated by the politics of their social groups. We talk about everything--girls, sex, sports, herpes. We have open, frank discussions. I don't want them in the street asking someone who may not be giving them the right information."

The single mom closely monitors her sons' involvements. She reads the books they read, helps them with their homework, watches movies with them and listens to their music without censoring it.

Moms can be just as involved in their children's sports activities as fathers, even if two parents are in the house, the attorney says. She shares the responsibility of taking the boys to and from games and practices with their father, Dwain Kyles.

"The first football game they watched was with mom," says Cropper, who recently was elected to the local school council. "I encouraged them to play basketball, and they love it. Another mom and I started the South Side Strykers soccer team that Chad plays on. I learned to be comfortable with sports because I love my kids."

Cropper worked full-time as an attorney before marrying and starting her family. In the past 20 years, she has traveled extensively while providing legal representation for R&B legend Stevie Wonder. She continues to work part-time for Wonder, but decided to work at Northwestern in 1990 after becoming a mom because it allows her to spend more time at home. "I'm as intense with my parenting as I [am] with my career," the attorney says.

Cropper's hard work on the job brings her positive recognition. David E. Van Zandt, dean of Northwestern's law school, admired Cropper's dedication and promoted her from director of minority affairs to assistant dean of students in 1997. Two years later, he promoted her to dean of students. "Her high energy made her a great fit for the job," Van Zandt says. "She did a great job with the students as director of minority affairs. She was ready for new challenges." Cropper, who is introducing more leadership teams at the law school, is helping to create a culture that is collaborative rather than cutthroat, Van Zandt says.

Cropper's students agree. David Sayyed, a student in the JD/MBA program at Northwestern, says, "We come to her about parking, transportation, classes, grades, personnel, for counseling, advice on classes, career searches and graduation. She's like a parent."