The joy of adoption: more African-Americans are opening their hearts

Ebony, Nov, 2005 by Tracey Robinson-English

THE adoption ceremony of baby Dariel Devante was bittersweet. At Spence-Chapin, a private adoption agency in New York City, an older couple who already had children and financially unable to raise an infant, tenderly surrendered their 6-pound, four-week-old daughter with black ringlets and caramel-colored skin into the arms of Donald and Renee Patterson. They would become her new adoptive parents.

The first embrace melted away the pain of the Patterson's battle with infertility and ended a difficult, yearlong search for a baby to fulfill their dream of starting a family. "The moment we saw her, we forgot everything that we went through," Renee recalls. "It was well worth it. She is a joy."

Today, 7-month-old Dariel Devante kicks her feet happily when she hears Renee's voice. "She knows I'm mommy," Renee says.

The Pattersons are among the thousands of African-American couples opening their hearts to children across the nation. Despite misconceptions, African-American adoption is reportedly on the rise and is taking place nearly as often as other adoptions.

November is National Adoption Awareness Month, and efforts are being made to spread the word and educate prospective parents about the process and rewards of bringing home a child to complete a family. In the African-American community, outreach efforts are underway in churches, schools and neighborhoods, and through word-of-mouth networking.

"There's a misconception that the Black community doesn't take care of its own--that's ludicrous," says Hillary Ward, an outreach coordinator at the Sayers Center for African American Adoption in Evanston, Ill., a program founded by NFL Hall of Famer Gale Sayers and wife, Ardythe. "Whether it is formally or informally, we have had a tradition of taking care of our children," Ward adds. "We want to make more families aware that private adoption is available to them."

Operated through the Cradle, a respected private adoption agency in Illinois, the Sayers Center has placed more than 350 African-American infants with families since 1994. Ward observed that more Black couples in their 30s and 40s, as well as single African-American women, are stepping forward to give a child "a forever family." Single moms like Pam Batridge, of Chicago adopted daughter Kamaya as an infant six years ago. "My goal was to parent," she says. "My heart was open to loving a child."

Whether you seek a fee-based private agency or a state-supported program, adoption has changed in the Internet Age. The process that was once cold, secretive and formal is faster, more open and marketed everywhere from television ads to Web sites. The Internet is connecting many adoptive parents to agencies, facilitators and birth parents. A browse on the Internet reveals numerous Web sites with family photos posted of couples wanting to adopt. Some are also chatting online to find a child who is right for them.

"Adoption is becoming very competitive," says Samantha Walker, an adoption specialist at the African-American Infant Program at Spence-Chapin in New York City, one of the largest private adoption agencies in the Northeast.

The adoption process still requires that prospective parents deal with fingerprinting, background checks, waiting lists, reams of legal paperwork, visits from social workers and home-study courses. Completion of the process takes a minimum of six months to two years.

Adoption professionals reason that birth parents today are more empowered to choose from a pool of eligible adoptive parents and stay in contact through a growing "openness" trend. The term refers to ongoing contact between birth parents and adoptive parents after the adoption is complete to serve the best interests of the child.

A birth mother selected Dr. E. Charles and Sonya Malunda Lampley of Chicago to adopt daughter Lauryn, now age 4. The couple, who already had a young son, Jarrett, decided to adopt a daughter to complete their family.

"We met with her [birth mother[ a few times in advance of the birth, talked about the delivery, defined what openness meant, and developed a relationship," Sonya Lampley says. "When she went into labor, she called us. We arrived an hour after Lauryn was born. We spent time with the newborn and birth mother. Four days later, we took Lauryn home."

The Lampleys openness agreement involves an exchange of phone calls, letters and postcards. "We have a strong bond," says Sonya. "It takes time to get used to the idea. You work through the relationship looking at the long-term and what is in the best interest of the child."

The sobering truth is that infants--regardless of race--are in high demand and scarce in state adoption systems. By comparison, older African-American children are plentiful in foster care programs and are often difficult to place for adoption, experts say.

Many couples who want to adopt an infant turn to private agencies that have relationships with birth mothers who want to place a newborn for adoption. Despite popular belief, private adoption agencies do not allow adoptive parents to select the baby's gender or skin tone.