Corporate Attorney Raises Triplets - Kathleen Simmons Laurent - Brief Article

Ebony, Dec, 2000 by Joy Bennett Kinnon

With the help of a nanny and an understanding husband

ALL mothers know that working outside the home is challenging enough with just one child. But multiply that by three--toddlers--and you have a perfect candidate for career mother of the year, Kathleen (Kathy) Simmons Laurent.

Even with a nanny and an understanding husband, the days are long for the 30-something senior counsel for Sony Electronics Inc. and her investment banker husband, Ronald (Ron). The couple lives in New Jersey, where she works, and he commutes to work in Manhattan.

"In terms of balancing work and family, without a supportive husband and live-in care during the week, it would be a lot more difficult," she says. And even with that support, she says, it can be tough. "We all work really hard at it," she says. "If Ron or I or Pat [the nanny] are really tired or losing patience, the other one picks up the slack. That s how all of this ends up working without any one of the three of us becoming totally overwhelmed.

After 10 years of marriage and fertility treatments, she was overjoyed when her physician informed her that the long-hoped-for-and-prayed-for "baby" she was expecting was actually three infants. "I was very surprised when the doctor told me it was triplets," she says, laughing at the memory. "I frankly didn't expect the treatment to work at all," she says, "Then when I found out I was pregnant, I was hoping for twins because we had been trying so long that I thought that twins would he nice."

A complicated pregnancy kept her on complete bed rest for nearly three months, first at home and then for nine weeks in the hospital. She was only allowed to sit up to eat and had to lie on one side or the other, she says. She was able to endure it all and keep her spirits high because "I just felt at that time that I didn't really want to do anything that would endanger the pregnancy, because it is really difficult to carry three babies all at once."

Even with all of these precautions, the triplets were born after an emergency C-section at only 29 weeks gestation (a normal pregnancy is 40 weeks.)

Although the children were very premature, they are just fine today. "I never allowed myself to think that they wouldn't be fine -- and they are fine," she adds. The toddlers, who just turned 2 years old in November, are two boys, Justin and Connor, and a girl, Devan. Justin was the largest baby at 3 1/4 pounds, while Devan was the smallest at 2 1/2 pounds. They stayed in the hospital for six weeks following their births.

When the three babies went home, complete with heart and breathing monitors, the couple had around-the-clock help from someone who was skilled in nursing multiples. "Getting them on a schedule at first was key to maintaining our sanity," she says. "The baby nurse helped us get them all on a schedule so that we fed them and changed them all together and they would nap at the same time." Now that the children are older, the family has a more flexible schedule.

The decision to hire a live-in nanny was not difficult, she says. "Juggling triplets and a career is certainly not easy, but if I had to dress three toddlers every morning, especially in the winter, and get them to day-care and pick them up by a certain time at night, it would be very, very difficult for me to have a demanding job as well."

Working four days a week (she's off on Mondays) helps tremendously, she says. But she still has a full workload. "When I was making arrangements to come back to work," she says, "I asked my boss if I could work a reduced schedule, and he agreed to an 80 percent schedule." The one-day off per week makes it convenient for the nanny to schedule her own appointments. Their nanny, Patricia Luefung, lives with the couple during the week and is responsible for the children's care. "She basically does everything for the children and also helps out a lot with the housework," she says. "It s a long day for her."

The nanny joined the family when the triplets were 3 months old. "I try to treat Pat as I would want to be treated if I were her," she says. "We are thrilled to have her, and she's a great person and she really loves our children."

Kathy says she does all of the grocery shopping for the household, a more daunting task as the triplets mature, and she "cooks a lot more than I used to."

After 10 years of couple time, the Laurents' lives have changed substantially since the arrival of the triplets. They have taken one vacation since the children's arrival, and, she says, both sets of parents came in from out of town to baby-sit the triplets. "We certainly don't have as much downtime as we used to, and I've only recently managed to reincorporate exercise into my routine," she adds.

On the weekends, the couple takes turns running errands. She says the triplets have never been to the grocery store all together. "If you had one baby, you would take the baby along, but with three, you tend to leave them at home." She says her husband "prides himself on sharing equally in child-rearing," which has made their multiple blessing much easier.