What Black Men Really Want - survey results - Statistical Data Included

Ebony, Dec, 2000

CONTRARY to popular belief, Black men are generally faithful to their wives and lovers, are ready and willing to tackle their share of domestic duties, actually read books, use computers, do not lust only after light-skinned women, and do not seem to be obsessed with sex.

Those are among the findings of a first-ever survey of the male readers of EBONY, who provided a glimpse into the thoughts and feelings of the contemporary Black man. More than 1,000 men responded to the survey, which was published in the August 2000 issue. The answers they shared with us challenge many of the assumptions about Black men that are ingrained in the culture.

On the subject of sex, for example, our readers said they were not nearly as active as the mythology would indicate. In fact, one out of every three of our survey respondents said they had sex seldom or twice a month, compared with the 37.4 percent who said they had sex several times a week or more.

Similarly, our readers contradicted the notion that skin color plays an important role when Black men are considering whom to date or marry. More than 75 percent of the men in our survey say that skin color does not matter to them at all when assessing a woman's attractiveness. Nearly 80 percent say they would never discount a woman as a potential mate based on whether she was too light or too dark.

But the Brothers also confess that they're willing to cross the racial divide in search of romance. More than 65 percent have dated a woman of another race, and 73 percent say they are open to the possibility.

One reason for this may be the somewhat mixed perception these men have of Black women. About one-third say a supportive Black woman is hard to find. Just over 43 percent said that the behavior of some of their peers has made it difficult for Black women to be supportive of Black men. But more than half (52.2 percent) think Black women are only looking for men with money and status.

We also learned from our readers that Black men are basically monogamous. More than half (53.5 percent) said they had never been unfaithful to their mate, though 37 percent admitted that they had strayed from their marriages or relationships.

They were evenly split on the subject of romantic satisfaction. Although 46 percent said they were happy with the state of their marriage or relationship, 49 percent said they were unhappy. Surprisingly, only 18 percent said that more sex was the topic for a better marriage or relationship, compared with 25 percent who said more time with their partner would improve their marital or romantic relations.

And while two-thirds of the respondents described themselves as being somewhat sexually experimental, these guys are far from being an oversexed lot. Only 37 percent of them said they have sex several times a week, while 21 percent said they seldom had sex at all. They were almost evenly divided on the topic of premarital relations, with nearly 40 percent saying they would marry a woman with whom they'd not been intimate and 41 percent saying they would not.

Those who are currently engaged in intimate relations, however, are not necessarily heeding the warnings about safe sex. Only a third said they always or frequently use condoms.

On the domestic front, we learned that Black men are increasingly trying to pitch in around the house. Almost 40 percent say they share shopping duties, a third say they share child-care responsibilities, and a little more than one-fourth say they do some of the household cooking.

More than 50 percent of them are avid readers, with 30 percent saying they read a book once a month and 28 percent professing to read a book once a week. The vast majority (71 percent) have computers at home and access the Internet on them.

With regard to the myriad social problems affecting the nation, our readers remain more focused on racial discrimination than anything else. More than half said that was the issue that concerned them most.

1. Are you happy with the state of your marriage or
   romantic relationship?

a. Yes 46%  b. No 49%

2. What would improve your marriage or romantic
   relationship?

a. More time with my partner 25.8%
b. More free time to pursue individual interests/pastimes
   12.3%
c. More financial assistance from my partner 8.5%
d. More sex/romance from my partner 18%
e. Fewer hassles/less nagging from my partner 16.4%
f. All of the above 22.6%
g. Other 17.3%

3. Do you think Black women are only looking for
   Brothers with money & status?

a. Yes 52.2%  b. No 46.2%

4. What physical qualities attract you to a woman
   when you first meet her?

a. Overall figure 41.8%
b. Legs 9.1%
c. Bust 5.3%
d. Long hair 5.3%
e. Eyes 8%
f. Overall grooming 56.9%

5. Which qualities are most important to you in
   assessing a woman's date/mate potential?

a. Physical appearance 73.3%
b. Independence 76.1%
c. Intelligence 21.7%
d. Occupation/income 46.5%
e. Honesty and integrity 55.7%
f. Sense of humor 82.1%
g. Spirituality 61.6%

6. In assessing a woman's attractiveness, is skin color
   a consideration for you?

a. Yes 23.3%  b. No 75.2%

7. Would you or have you ever not considered a
   woman as a potential mate because she was:

a. Too light 7.9%
b. Too dark 11.9%
c. Skin color doesn't matter 78.6%

8. If you are single, would you ever consider marrying
   a woman with whom you have not been
   intimate?

a. Yes 39.9%  b. No 41.2%

9. How often do you have sex?

a. Every day 4.1%
b. Several times a week 37.4%
c. Once a week 18.2%
d. Twice a month 14.8%
e. I seldom have sex 21.1%

10. Who usually initiates sex?

a. I do 76.4 %
b. My partner does 18.6%

11. Sexually, how would you describe yourself?

a. Conservative 14.2%
b. Experimental and explorative 47.5%
c. Occasionally experimental 35.8%

12. If you are unmarried and sexually active, how
   would you describe your use of condoms.

a. I always use a condom 24.8 %
b. I frequently use a condom 10.7%
c. I sometimes use a condom 17%
d. I never use a condom 15.7%

13. If you are unmarried, which statement best
   describes your feelings about the institution of
   marriage?

a. I plan to get married someday. 33.6%
b. Maybe, if the right woman comes along. 27.7%
c. I will never get married. 6%

14. If you are married or in a long-term relationship,
   have you ever been unfaithful to your mate?

a. Yes 36.5%  b. No 53.5%

15. If you are married or in a long-term relationship,
   do you have separate checking or investment
   accounts?

a. Yes 64.8%  b. No 23.3%

16. If you are married or in a long-term relationship,
   who handles the family finances.

a. I do 25.5%
b. My partner or wife 15.1%
c. We share financial duties 45.3%

17. If you are married or in a long-term relationship,
   who does most of the family's shopping?

a. I do 12.6%
b. My mate does 31.1%
c. My mate and I share shopping duties 40%
d. Other 2.2%

18. If you have children, who does most of the
   cooking for your family?

a. I do 11.9%
b. My mate does 27 %
c. My mate and I share cooking duties 26.4%
d. The children or someone else cooks 2.2%
e. We eat out or order in 3.8%

19. If you are married and have children, who
   handles most of the child-care responsibilities?

a. I do 5.7%
b. My mates does 20.8%
c. My mate and I share child-care responsibilities 35.2%

20. Do you or have you ever dated a woman of
   another race?

a. Yes 65.4%  b. No 33.3%

21. Would you date a woman of another race?

a. Yes 73% b.  No 22%

22. Does it concern you when successful Black
   women date and marry men of another race?

a. Yes 34.3%  b. No 63.5%

23. Other than a relative or someone you know
   personally, which African-American man
   do you admire most?

a. Johnnie Cochran 12.9%
b. Bill Cosby 27.4%
c. The Rev. Jesse Jackson 11.3%
d. Earvin (Magic) Johnson 2.2%
e. Michael Jordan 11.3%
f. Kweisi Mfume 5.3%
g. Chris Rock 1.3%
h. Dr. David Satcher .6%
i. Will Smith 2.8%
j. Other 2.8%

24. Other than a relative or some one you know
   personally, which African-American woman do
   you admire most?

a. Maya Angelou 22.6%
b. Halle Berry 8.8%
c. Marian Wright Edelman 11.3%
d. Whitney Houston 3.1%
e. Terry McMillan 1.6%
f. Iyanla Vanzant 2.8%
g. MaxineWaters 10.4%
h. Oprah Winfrey 22.3%
i. Vanessa L. Williams 6.3%
j. Other 15.4%

25. How often do you read book?

a. Once a week 28.6%
b. Once a month 30.8%
c. Once a year 16.4%
d. Hardly ever 23.3%

26. How often do you see the doctor?

a. I get an annual physical 64.2%
b. I see the doctor every few years 27.7%
c. I never see the doctor 6.9%

27. Which brands of athletic apparel have you
   purchased for leisure use in the past 6 months?

a. Adidas 20.1%
b. Converse 13.5%
c. Fila 9.49%
d. K*Swiss 6.9%
e. L.A. Gear 2.5%
f. Nike 55.3%
g. Reebok 20.1%

28. How much do you agree or disagree with the
   following statements?

Advertising often influences my purchase decisions.

a. Agree mostly 27.7%
b. Agree somewhat 7.2%
c. Disagree somewhat 6.6%
d. Disagree mostly 4.4%

I am more likely to read the ads that l see in EBONY
versus other publications.

a. Agree mostly 19.8%
b. Agree somewhat 38.1%
c. Disagree somewhat 24.5%
d. Disagree mostly 15.7%

I wear athletic apparel as a fashion statement.

a. Agree mostly 8.5%
b. Agree somewhat 20.8%
c. Disagree somewhat 20.4%
d. Disagree mostly 47.8%

29. How did you obtain this issue of EBONY
   magazine?

a. Newsstand 13.8%
b. Subscription 38.1%
c. Spouse or household member 18.6%
d. Friend 18.6%
e. Other 10.4%

30. How long will you keep this issue of EBONY
   magazine?

a. less than a week 11.9%
b. 1-4 weeks 9.7%
c. 1-3 months 12.9%
d. 3-6 months 14.5%
e. 6-12 months 17.6%
f. more than 12 months 29.6%