The Shocking Truth About Female Impotence

Ebony, Feb, 1999 by Melissa Ewey

For women suffering from female impotence, attempts to find the joy in sex can be harrowing, disappointing, and often painful. Although everybody talks about male impotence, defined as the inability to enjoy sex or adequately perform sexual intercourse, impotence appears to be more common among women.

According to a recent University of Chicago study, one in three women have a significant lack of interest in sex. This means that tens of millions of women are suffering in silence, with explosive and potentially devastating effects on relationships and marriages. Until recently, impotent women are ignored while men benefited from dozens of treatment and medications such as Viagra. The issue of female impotency has only recently been addressed, and found to be just as treatable.

In prior generations, sex was thought of as something a woman did to please her mate and to make babies, certainly not for her own gratification. If she did not like having sex. It was just as well, because she wasn't expected to. For many Black women, that belief holds true even today.

"There are a lot a women who have sex but absolutely do not enjoy it," says Dr. Ken Taylor, an obstetrician and gynecologist based in Atlanta. "They go through their whole lives having sex just to please a man, and never experience any pleasure themselves."

The idea that women are not entitled to sexual pleasure stems from early lessons about sexuality, according to Dr. Debra George, a Los Angeles-based psychologist and licensed marriage/ family therapist. She believes the sexual revolution passed by most Black women, who learned a lot of unrealistic, old-fashioned notion about sex from their mothers. "We had to wait until something happened before we were told anything," says Dr. George, who is pleased to see more women embracing their sexuality in a responsible manner. "The younger generation is being raised without the old misconceptions," she explains. "They're being educated about sex sooner and more comprehensively."

Despite this gradual change in attitude, there are several psychological and physical barriers preventing women from enjoying sex:

PSYCHOLOGICAL

For some women, the thought of taking their clothes off in front of someone else is enough to render them incapable of performing. "Sex is about self-confidence," says Dr. George, who encourages women to appreciate their bodies regardless of shape or size. "You have sex when you feel good about yourself and about the person you're with, and it seems that the world is a great and wonderful place, adds Dr. Taylor. Performance anxiety is another obstacle. "Some of us are so analytical, even in the raptures of sex and passion, we're wondering whether we're doing it right," says Dr. George. "You need to lose yourself in the moment."

Dr. George blames sexual trauma for a lot of female impotency cases. "Physical or emotional abuse during childhood has a profound effect on sexuality later in life," she says, citing instances of date rape or extreme pressure to have sex among teenagers. "A bad experience early in the dating process can turn a woman off later on."

Female impotence can put strain on a relationship, especially when her mate thinks he isn't doing his job. "Men feel like it's their fault because they can't bring the woman to orgasm," says Dr. George. "They take it personally." Afraid of a negative reaction, many women choose to lie bout their sexual enjoyment rather than making suggestions. Overtime, women become so frustrated that sexual activity becomes a source of anger and hatred.

Stress is another factor. "You don't have sex when you've got too many other things to worry about and competing for your attention," says Dr. Taylor. Women who are busy working 14-hour days are usually too exhausted to have sex when they come home. "You have to make time for intimacy," he adds.

PHYSICAL

Pain experienced during sex can be caused by a variety of factors. Underdeveloped sexual organs or other abnormalities that occur during sexual development often result in extreme sensitivity or no physical response altogether. Injuries to the vaginal area can also dull sensation.

Drugs prescribed for certain ailments can affect sexual organs. Antihistamines taken to counteract allergies can cause vaginal dryness, which often results in painful intercourse. Diabetic and heart medications produce a similar reaction.

For years, women who lost that loving feeling after menopause simply accepted it as part of "the change." "When women reach menopause, the levels of the hormones estrogen and progesterone go down," explains Dr. Taylor. The drop in hormones causes a lack of libido and painful intercourse.

Certain types of surgery also cause impotence. When most hysterectomies are performed, surgeons remove the cervix as well as the rest of the uterus to prevent cervical cancer. In many women, the cervix is sensitive and adds to sexual pleasure. Supercervical hysterectomies, a practice more common in Europe, remove the uterus but leave the cervix intact.