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This Valentine's Day, love yourself: Valentine's Day is for love, and you have to love yourself before you can truly benefit from the love of others - Sisterspeak - Column
Ebony, Feb, 2003 by Lynn Norment
THIS Valentine's Day, while trying to decide how to express your love to the special man in your life, make a commitment to doing something special for yourself. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't do something special for your man; yes, give him that lovely card that expresses just the right sentiment. Cook his favorite meal. Wear that sexy lingerie that will take his mind off the NBA, at least temporarily. Make love with all your heart and remind him why he fell in love with you in the first place.
But also do something for yourself, something you've been wanting to do but just couldn't find the time or the money to make it happen. For a change, splurge on yourself, indulge yourself, pamper yourself. After all, Valentine's Day is for love, and you have to love yourself before you can truly benefit from the love of others.
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Regardless of whether there is a special man in your life, you should celebrate Valentine' Day. Make an appointment to get a hot oil massage; and while at the spa, treat yourself to a manicure and pedicure. You deserve it. Think of all the laundry you've done, all the floors you've swept, all the hours you've stood in that hot kitchen cooking dinner for your husband and children, after putting in a long, hard day on the job.
Renew your commitment to yourself. Let your husband or partner and the children and family members know that you will no longer be their personal servant. Insist that they help out more around the house and do their fair share to keep the household running smoothly. They must do more so you can have more time to yourself and for yourself.
Tell your adult children that you will no longer be the anytime, short-notice baby-sitter and that they need to rear their own children. Also tell them they can no longer drop off their dirty laundry; the cleaning service has closed its doors. So has the personal banker and shopper. They need to grow up and manage their own lives.
Remind that man of yours that, yes, you love him, but you also love yourself. Tell him that you work hard all day, just as he does, and that he must do more to help out around the house. If he can't cook (or if you don't want him messing up your kitchen), he can clean the bathrooms, run the vacuum, dust the furniture. Even he can master these simple domestic chores.
Tell your needy female friends (and male friends and relatives) that you've listened to them cry the blues long enough and that either they should follow the sound advice you've given them (repeatedly) or seek professional help. Tell them to pull themselves out of the holes they've dug and move on with their lives. Your shoulder is burdened with our own life and problems. Let them cry elsewhere.
Promise yourself that you will start taking better care of yourself. Make an appointment to get your teeth cleaned and the physical you've been putting off for months, if not years. Do what's necessary to lower your cholesterol and blood pressure. Get your mammogram. Start walking daily. Clean the junk off your treadmill and exercise bike and use them for what they were intended. Put some good music on the sound system and dance like a wild woman around the house. Loosen up those joints and work that body. You know you need to lose 10 pounds. Start today, this Valentine's Day. That's a gift of love to yourself.
If you really want to love yourself this Valentine's Day, open up a new investment or savings account and commit to putting in a specific amount of money each month. Call it your personal slush fund or your fun money. Set a goal and stick to it. Maybe you want to take a luxury cruise next summer. Maybe you and your female friends have dreamed of renting a villa on the beach in Negril. How about realizing that dream of enjoying an African safari.
Valentine's Day is symbolic of love. Some say you can't truly love somebody else until you love yourself. Others say that you must love yourself before you can be loved. So don't wallow in self-pity for not having the man of your dreams and make excuses for not being all that you can be and doing all that you can do. You are beautiful. You are deserving. You are capable.
This Valentine's Day, love yourself!
COPYRIGHT 2003 Johnson Publishing Co.
COPYRIGHT 2003 Gale Group
