Managing money and your romance - Money Talks

Ebony, Feb, 2004

IN the bling-bling world of excessive spending, high-priced dating, and the occasional wanna-be baller, the science of romance has become an emotional gamble as well as a financial risk. From the casual to the serious, it's not only good looks that count; but also good credit, financial sensibility and a high net worth, all of which can make or break a relationship. Learn to balance romance and finance, and ask the questions that will help your heart and your pocket.

Who Should Pick Up the Check? It doesn't matter whether a woman pays or the man does, or if a couple decides to go Dutch, as long as there is an understanding between the couple. "Although I don't normally pay when dating, some women do," says Chonne Ealy, a single finance executive from the Midwest. "It depends on your individual dating style and what makes you feel comfortable."

How Much Do You Earn? Unless you've started to plan a future with someone, asking how much he or she makes is an intrusive question. "Questions on budget, credit and earning power should not be introduced when you're simply dating," says Toya Dixon, veteran business analyst in Chicago. "If you are planning a future, you should focus on net worth, not simply how much that person earns. Net worth lets you know how a person prioritizes his/her money, how he or she is planning their financial future and how you fit into that."

Do You Have Good Credit? Not only does good credit count when it comes to your purchasing power, it can also affect your employment and even your success in relationships. "If you have poor credit, it means that you have a history of making bad decisions and being irresponsible," says finance executive Ealy. "And if you're irresponsible, lack follow-through and make bad decisions, you may not be ready for a relationship." While bad credit does not guarantee failure in relationships, developing good spending habits, experts say, will improve your financial picture, which should positively influence other areas of your life.

Do You Have a Budget? The desire and ability to budget is indicative of a person's ability to plan, prioritize and organize. "It dictates the culture of your relationship and how it flows," says Marilyn McCray, a recently divorced marketing manager on the East Coast. "If he's a spender and you're a saver, you're going to run into problems. If a person is all 'flash,' with no substance and no savings, that's a tremendous problem. A budget indicates a level of maturity that is necessary when building a relationship."

Do You Own Your Own Home? Whether your date owns or rents is not as important as why he or she has made that particular decision. "Home ownership is just a vehicle of investment," says Dixon, the Chicago business analyst. "I know some very wealthy, well-established, financially sound people who rent because they've made a decision to invest in something else. You could own a home and have a hugely negative net worth. Conversely, you could rent and have a very well-balanced investment portfolio." You want to know why your date made the decision to rent or own and what financial gains he or she is deriving in the process.

Where Do We Go From Here? The primary concern, for most couples, is how to plan for the future. "For some people, the future does not extend beyond tomorrow while for others, it may include the next 10 years," says McCray. "So, if you're looking for a successful relationship, you've got to be sure you are like-minded regarding money matters."

In your next relationship, protect your heart and your finances by asking the right questions to ind love, happiness and wealth!