5 money questions to ask

Ebony, Feb, 2005

BEFORE mailing the invitations and ordering the flowers, soon-to-be-married couples should talk about the one thing they might not want to talk about--money.

"Money, and how it is spent and who controls it, is one of those issues that can make or break a marriage," says Dr. Pamela York Klainer, author of How Much is Enough? "It's incredibly dangerous not to talk about it."

So before you jump the broom, sit down and ask the five questions that matter most:

How Much Does He or She Make? First, you should know how much income your soon-to-be spouse earns each year. More importantly, you should know if that income is derived primarily from work, real estate, investments or other assets. Not only will the amount and source of income affect your collective bottom line, it will also determine, in large part, your lifestyle as a married couple.

How Much Does He or She Owe? Just as important as the amount of money coming in is the amount expended on long-term debt, installment loans and monthly expenses. Find out if the one you love has outstanding alimony obligations, child support payments, judgments, delinquencies or defaults. Debt can be a powerful dividing force if not assessed up front and managed properly during the marriage.

What's His/Her Credit Score? A credit score represents a wealth of information. "There's no such thing as a joint credit report, but your spouse's individual credit history can turn around and bite you," says a report by the Detroit Free Press. "If your spouse has a negative credit history, that can affect your ability as a couple to obtain that mortgage," says Rod Griffin, manager of consumer education at Experian, one of the three major credit bureaus. Whether it's home ownership, a new car, or any other big-ticket item, credit scores will make a difference in the amount you qualify to borrow and the interest rate you have to pay.

Who Will Pay The Bills? It's not the amount of money, but the management of the money that causes friction. Decide if you'll maintain individual checking accounts or if you'll create a joint account. If you decide to create a joint account, determine if there will be equal access to the account and equal earnings deposited into the account. Determine whether you or your spouse-to-be is best organized. Sit down and discuss who is in a better position to accurately track and account for your expenditures, purchases and miscellaneous items that will become a part of your budget. On the other hand, it is vitally important that the person who does not manage the money maintains an active role in being responsible for spending and saving.

Are You Financially Compatible? To find out whether your financial behavior is compatible with your soon-to-be-spouse's, try setting a trial 30-day budget together. Each person should list expenditures and sources of income. Then after 30 days, compare the two lists. Too often, couples assume that their spouse's financial behavior will change for the better after the wedding, but marriage is not a magic wand. It is the responsibility of both people to take the time to review their future spouse's financial snapshot thoroughly and accurately.

In marriage, like any other long-term investment, the best policy is an honest policy and one that allows your partner full access to your financial history. Be 2upfront about your past, your debts, and any blemishes in your payment history. It can make a big difference in your marriage.