What Is A Sister?

Ebony, March, 2000 by Joy Bennett Kinnon

SISTER CEO, Sister to Sister, Sistergirl, Sister President, Sistah, Sistah, SISTAH. What is a Sister? Has the term become generic?

Has the term become passe? Is it a relic leftover from '60s radicals that is no longer applicable in the 21st century? What does the word mean?

We asked Black women around the country what the term Sister means to them. Essentially, they agreed that Sister is more than the sum total of its letters. It is, as author Toni Morrison says, "a knowing so deep." It applies, as Dr. Maya Angelou says, to women of "a certain age," with a particular flair, with a certain sense of style. The consensus is that the word applies to Black females of all ages and orientations.

The answer is personal to each woman. A Sister-friend is a long-term friendship or a casual acquaintance. Chosen, not given, they are friends because they want to be, not because biology dictates a connection. They come in all ages, shapes, sizes and colors. They can cook on a stove, microwave or personal computer. They are rule makers and power brokers, peace-makers and warriors; they have come here to stay.

They rock the cradle and the microphone. For those they love, they are both the ship and the safe harbor. Never the wrong size or the wrong color; never too early or late, but always right on time. Sisters can be counted on in any millennium to watch your back or your babies. To keep it real or keep it hidden. To shop until you drop. These are the vows of Sisterhood--'til death do us part.

Following are some other thoughts about the qualities of a Sister.

CECE WINANS Six-time Grammy Award-winning gospel singer

"A SISTER IS A WONDERFUL THING. I think a Sister is one who loves you no matter what. To me, a true Sister is one who prays for you. She covers you in prayer. That's a valuable gift. I have several non-blood Sisters. I value them and appreciate them because I know that they always keep me uplifted in prayer and I know that I can feel the love of my Sisters from my home church (Born Again) in Nashville no matter where I am in the world. Of course, I've been blessed to have two wonderful blood sisters too, Angie and Debbie. They drive me crazy (laughs), but they pray for me and bring me a lot of joy too."

DR. AUDREY F. MAHLEY Spelman College President

"A SISTER IS ONE WHO EMBRACES THE SIMPLISTIC AND COMPLEX NATURES OF THE FEMALE RELATIONSHIP, regardless of genetic or geographic ties. She is able and willing to make the necessary adjustments to create and sustain viable relationships with other women. She aims to rightly discern when to speak into the life of her Sister, and when to remain quiet; when to analyze her Sister and when to edify her. She knows that to have a Sister, she must be a Sister, and she strives for interactions with other women that are not bound by expectation or tradition."

DEBORAH COX Singer

"A SISTER IS A FRIEND WHO LOVES YOU UNCONDITIONALLY and will always tell you the truth even if it hurts. She is someone who you can call on anytime because you know you can depend on her."

EVE Rap star and Ruff Ryders' First Lady

"A SISTER IS GREAT TO HAVE ESPECIALLY IF YOU AND THAT PERSON SHARE A LOT IN COMMON. You always have someone to talk about any issue in life. That person will never lie to you--and, hopefully, you'll always have someone to shop with. And more importantly that person may be the one to save your life or get your life started."

YOLANDA ADAMS Gospel star

"A SISTER IS A FRIEND YOU CAN LAUGH WITH, cry with, and be open and honest with."

CANDI STATON Four-time Grammy-nominated soul legend ("Young Hearts Run Free")

A SISTER IS SOMEONE WHO WILL SHARE YOUR DEEPEST HURTS AND YOUR GREATEST TRIUMPHS. She shares your disappointments and your tragedies then she rejoices with you in the good times. She'll weep with you and she'll shout with you. That's what a Sister is--someone you can trust, someone you can rely on, someone who won't let you down even when you want to give up. I've had women who were there for me through my heartaches and broken marriages, and they helped me see post my struggles. They weren't blood, but they were my Sisters."

SOMMORE Comedienne

"A REAL SISTA, WILL TELL YOU WHEN YOU'RE TRIPPIN.' A Real Sista, will tell you when your outfit ain't right. A Real Sista, will tell you when you have bad kids. A Real Sista, will help you bury the body. But most of all, A Real Sista, when you go to her with a problem, will kneel and pray with you."