Star Jones': physical, emotional and spiritual journey to finding love

Ebony, March, 2006

STAR Jones is an amazing woman. The world has witnessed as she rose to the top of her profession as an attorney and then as co-host of The View, one of television's most successful talk shows. We have watched as she fell in love and married in a fairy-tale ceremony banker Al Scales Reynolds, and as she gained weight and then lost--right before our eyes--a whopping 150 pounds, half of her top weight of 300 pounds.

Star seems to have it all, but she isn't selfish with her secrets to success. In her new book, Shine: A Physical Emotional and Spiritual Journey to Finding Love, she advises women how they too can find success in life and love. The key, she says, is to get yourself together and be ready when Mr. Right comes along.

"I had my 'ideal man' list, but I didn't deserve everything that was on it, not in the state I was in," she says. "You say you want a man who is generous and professional and healthy with an athletic build. But are you all those things? You've got to, as they say, bring it to get it, and I wasn't bringing it. It was either change the list or change myself. The list was good. So I changed myself to get it."

She recalls how on her 41st birthday (March 2003) she was financially comfortable, "sort of famous, with more clothes than most boutiques, a guaranteed table in the best restaurants in town, but strangely, not very satisfied and even a little sad." She was also overweight, having gone from a size 16 to 22, she writes. "I'd always loved my round body, and my dress size didn't mean a thing to me because my momma and daddy always told me I was the most-appealing, fine-looking woman ever born. I was proud of my breasts, my butt, my great legs, and I had more dates and more relationships than I could handle."

To celebrate her 41st birthday, Jones was at a beach resort with girlfriends, and had a problem walking around because the weight was painful on her knees. "For the first time in my life, I felt unhealthy," she writes. "I'd gained 50 pounds in the last year."

After one of her girlfriends questioned her weight gain, Star started assessing her life and reflecting on how she was having trouble traveling, shopping and even worshiping because of her weight. "I couldn't even cross my legs," she recalls. A short time later, after a comment about "being a Christian," another friend questioned her spirituality. That made her ponder her sometimes foul language, how she had a tendency to get a "little snippy with people," how she had a "short fuse" and was quick to anger.

Then yet another friend, she says, asked if her life was "as good as it gets" in regard to relationships. "I had all these successes, fans, fame, two houses, but I was still alone," she writes. Though she dated, she still had not met the man who would "be my future."

That was the turning point, Jones says. "I recommitted myself spiritually," consulted with doctors and devised a weight-loss plan, and in general embarked upon a self-improvement program that also included updating her makeup and wardrobe.

The big question that Star often is asked is exactly how she lost 150 pounds. The usually talkative Star won't give specifics, other than to say she consulted with her doctors and follows a plan that emphasizes "nutritional value, portion control and exercise."

Did she have weight-loss surgery? "I don't want to say exactly what I did. Everyone has to take control of their own life, go to their own doctor and do what is best for them," she says. "It got to the point that if I didn't do something, I was going to die. I changed my eating habits and I exercise. I went from full-figured to fat to obese to morbidly obese. Can you imagine what it feels like being on an airplane and not being able to put your seat belt on?"

These days, that is not an issue for Star. By the time she met Al Scales Reynolds in 2003, she had lost 50 pounds, and by the time she marched down the aisle in November 2004, she had lost even more. Star is now a svelte size 8-10.

Jones says she wrote the book so that she could let others who are struggling with weight, relationship issues and other problems know that "all that glitters is not gold," and they are not alone in their battles with weight and other demons. All it takes is a healthy dose of self-esteem and the desire to shine.