Raising Children IN A HIGH-RISE - living in condominiums

Ebony, April, 2000

FORGET the backyard and white picket fence because the new standard of living for many Black families is high above the clouds. And contrary to popular belief, condominiums and high-rise apartments are no longer exclusively for upscale professionals. Over the years they have become quite family-friendly. While many youngsters enjoy downtown skylines and their own room with a view, condo parents are basking in a pampered existence exempt of lawn-care duties and property maintenance.

"This is the life; it's totally convenient," boasts Bradley Gibson, a Chicago commodities broker who lives on the 13th floor of the Newport condominium with his wife Rhonda, and their 2-year-old daughter Hunter. "My free time is important to me, and I never have to pull out the lawnmower or the shovel. There is a supermarket right on the premises and I have valet parking."

Rhonda Flowers Gibson, a marketing and promotions executive who works from home, agrees with her husband about the convenience of residing in their Chicago condo. She adds that condominiums are havens for families with small children.

"We have many families in the building, which gives Hunter the opportunity to interact with other children her age," Rhonda Gibson says. "We have parents visit us with their children, and Hunter can visit their homes. And because I work from home, I'm occasionally the emergency baby-sitter. It works out for everyone."

Aside from the convenience, around-the-clock safety is also a perk for many high-rise families, according to the Fallis family, Washington D.C., natives who now live in a 34th floor condo on Chicago's lakefront. Melvin Fallis, vice president of Black Voices.com, a nationwide web site tailored for African-Americans, travels frequently and says that his condo living arrangement assures him that his family is safe when he leaves town. At-home mom Sheron Banks-Fallis agrees that she and the couple's 2-year-old-son Joshua always feel secure in their building.

"We didn't know the area well when we moved to the city, so security was a major issue for us," Banks-Fallis says. "Living in a condo is perfect because there is always a doorman or security guard on duty and there are family activities built-in on the premises for families like us who are not familiar with our surroundings."

Life can be good in a high-rise, but as with any living arrangement, certain precautions must be taken to provide a safe environment for your child. Because most children are two-parts curious, two-parts mischievous and can cross danger's path at the speed of greased lightning, constant supervision and strict home safety rules are necessary in order to ensure a safe high-rise home. Parents who live in high-rises or condominiums face different child-safety issues than single-family homeowners---obstacles that reach above and beyond covering electrical sockets.

One major safety concern that is unique to high-rise parents is the elevator, and both the Fallises and the Gibsons stress the importance of elevator safety. "Safety is very important because almost everything is dangerous," says Rhonda Gibson. "We taught our daughter the word `danger' before she was potty-trained and she knows not to go near the elevator unless we are present. And once inside the elevator, she knows what button to push." Banks-Fallis adds that it is important to begin working with your child immediately. "My son is only 2 years old, but he recognizes when we get to our floor because when we're on the elevator we count the numbers together to spark his awareness of where he is."

When rearing a child in a high-rise, safety inside the home is only half the battle, argues clinical psychologist Helen Evans, who also specializes in child development issues. Dr. Evans says parents also must create a home environment that will be conducive to their child's growth and social development.

"Ideally, a high-rise can be a great place to raise children if the parents make their [unit] optimal for their child's development," she states. "Your high-rise should have adequate space for the children, and/or parents should create a fun, creative, environment by providing games that can be played in a small space. Remember, the most important thing is not where you live, it's the type of home life that is created for your child."

Banks-Fallis agrees. "My son has his own room, but he has toys throughout the house, and when guests visit, it's quite obvious that this is Josh's house," Banks-Fallis says. Rhonda Gibson also believes in allowing her child to roam the house at playtime. "The child will make her own play area, and you should let her do that," she says.

Chicago psychologist Francine Bellamy Ph.D., agrees. "It's not the space that's most important, but rather the psychological mindset of `play,'" says the child and family expert. "It's more important for parents to allow time for play, which is much more vital than space. However, if you live in a [high-rise], you must have structured play with your child and be more creative and diligent about it."