First-Class Weddings The Second Time Around

Ebony, June, 2000 by Joy Bennett Kinnon

Chicago Attorney Janet Johnson Grant planned her whole wedding to McNair Grant Jr. in about five days. "Basically, I had the church reserved, the dress picked out and found a caterer all in about five days," she says. She picked up a new publication aimed specifically at the second-time bride to help with some details. Her colors were burgundy, gold, ivory and forest green, incorporating holiday and Kwanzaa colors. Her wedding dress was simple, elegant and topped by a hat with pizzazz to complete her ensemble. "I tried on a veil and it looked stupid--it wasn't me," she says. "The hat with a jazzy tilt to it [and] with a veil was me." Grant had a jazz band at the wedding; her recessional march was Duke Ellington's "Take the A Train," a touching tribute to her late father, Robert E. Johnson, former associate publisher and executive editor of Jet magazine. "Because Dad couldn't be there, I wanted a jazz flavor in the music because he really loved Duke Ellington," she says. Both Grant and her husband have two children each, who were included in their ceremony and reception.

Couples who are renewing vows are also planning big second weddings. Stephanie Baker and her husband Philip of Seattle are planning a large, Afrocentric ceremony with 300 guests to celebrate their 12th wedding anniversary. The couple, who met in Hawaii when they both were in the service, never had a big wedding. Their three children will be among their attendants. "We feel we made it this far and we should celebrate," she says.

The Rev. Betty Grant and her husband Kevin, who had a big traditional wedding in 1980 in New York City, will celebrate their 20th wedding anniversary by renewing their vows in a big Afrocentric ceremony: "We wanted to celebrate with everyone who was a part of this union for 20 years and let them know that through all the adversities, God is able," she says. She is adding things that weren't available 20 years ago, like a videographer. "The first time the limousines didn't show up," she says. "This time the limos were the first things I went to get. I find that if people are having big weddings, they are going all the way."

Some brides are choosing destination weddings for second weddings. Inviting only close friends and family to join the bridal couple in the islands combines wedding and honeymoon, and limits the guest list. "They are not necessarily spending any less money, but they are having a better time with the money they are spending," Pearce says.

But the most important element for second- and third-time brides is that they have fun and that they have it their way. "This is definitely it," says one bride, "I'm not getting married again."