Male virgin NBA star A.C. Green tells 'Why I have refused sex'

Ebony, August, 1998 by A.C. Green

Another incident happened more recently at a hotel near the arena in Dallas. I was there with my brother, Lee, my mom, my Aunt Mary and my cousin, Marjorie. It was the weekend I got the "Iron Man of the NBA" Award. My people were in town for that celebration. I was walking into the hotel with them when a couple was going out of the lobby door. I think they had been drinking. The guy just started screaming, "A.C. Green, hey man, you're the greatest." And I was trying to say, "Oh, man, thank you, I appreciate it." He went on through the doors. Now his girl, she stops and she's watching me. She walks up and she's like, "Oh, I love you, I love you. You're just awesome, you're beautiful, and I just love you. What are you doing later? Come to our hotel. I'll do anything you want." I'm like, "Excuse me!" And this is taking place five feet in front of my parents.

I see my guys hooking up with women all the time. Trust me, ladies, it's a game within a game. I want these guys, more than anything, to understand that they have to take more responsibility and accountability for their actions. Therefore, they have to make better decisions. I'm not the kind of teammate who is just going to sit there and watch a person try to destroy his life without saying something. If I'm your neighbor and your house is burning down, I'm going to go tell you. I'm not going to just walk by.

You have to be willing to address the issue. They might not like me, and a lot of people in this country probably don't like me for the positions that I take. I'm not a super human. I am definitely a man. I'm not perfect, but I know what's right. In my book, Victory, I talk about principles for championship living. I'm not trying to win favorable public opinion or a political contest of any sort. I'm just sharing the truth.

Many people ask if I have a girlfriend. At this time, I do not. Several years ago, I ended a longtime relationship, but the breakup had nothing to do with sex. She was, and still is, a virgin. We're actually still best friends. Sex wasn't the problem or issue whatsoever. It's very good to find people of like minds, not necessarily a carbon copy or robot. But at least a like mind, a similar vision, so you won't have to fight over little philosophical differences. The problem was that I wasn't making as much of an investment in the relationship as I needed to. It was not fair to her.

In all honesty, I'm not a real dater. Usually I don't get to that point because of philosophical differences. When I have a conversation with a lady, I can't help but open up my heart. I'm very upfront about what I believe. I don't expect someone to be a female A.C. because I honestly don't want that. But at the same time, I need to be truthful and very honest about what I feel. If that runs the lady off, then you just say, "You know what, you're cool, but I don't think we have much in common. God bless you." And you move on. So many people have sex and do everything else first, and then they start having these conversations to determine who the people really are. That's why I don't go out on many dates. I don't like dating because everything is based on the physical--looks, clothes, possessions--as opposed to the whole person. What I want to see is that beauty inside radiating out through the face. That's what I want to see and get to know.