How to increase your sex appeal; attraction to others is more than just a beautiful face and fine physique

Ebony, Dec, 1989

How To Increase YOUR SEX APPEAL

SEX appeal. That much-desired special something that makes heads turn and hearts throb. That certain aura that emanates so strongly from a man that a woman gets weak-kneed, and that sensual femaleness that can make a guy forget his prior commitments.

Sex appeal. There's no doubt that Philip Michael Thomas has it with his pretty-boy good looks. So does Blair Underwood, whose handsome attractiveness makes you forget that he's so young. Then there's Bobby Brown, whose liquid body movements send out vibes to women of all ages. Michael Jordan's sex appeal is manifested in his long, lean physique and charming Smile.

Sensuality is the trademark of a new generation of young singers, such as the provocative Jody Watley, the sultry Karyn White, and the charismatic Paula Abdul. But these young beauties can hardly out-vamp the kinetic sexiness of Tina Turner, whose raw appeal seems to have intensified over the 30 years she's been performing.

Bill Dee Williams demonstrated that he still has that special something with his role in the popular Batman film. The handsome actor says that it wasn't until he played the part of the sexy, loving Louis McKay in Lady Sings The Blues in 1972 that he even thought about his looks. "I think I have a lot of sex appeal, but I never thought of myself as being handsome," he says, adding that his idea of a sexy woman is one who is pretty and intelligent. "I love sensuality in a woman," he says, "but she doesn't have to be a fantastic beauty."

A woman's mind or personality--whatever it is that makes her uniquely herself--is indeed the first erogenous zone, says the author of Winning The Age Game. "A man is intrigued and challenged by a woman who is an interesting person in her own right, whose personality has enough depth to provide that essential ingredient for any successful relationship between men and women--the masculine need for meaningful conquest," says the author. "The woman who relies on the appeal of physical conquest alone finds that this appeal is very short-lived." He adds that health, vanity, happiness and a "dash of imperfection" all combine to enhance a woman's sex appeal.

Psychiatrists agree that being beautiful doesn't guarantee sex appeal, which, they say, is actually a reflection of a person's inner confidence and positive feeling about himself or herself. The person who doesn't feel lovable or good enough doesn't project sex appeal. It's important that you feel good about yourself, and if you do, others will be attracted to you. You will have sex appeal.

Following are some tips on how to enhance your sex appeal:

* CLOTHING--Personality and sex appeal are reflected in one's attire, but that doesn't mean that you must be dressed in expensive designer fashions to look good. Quality and good taste are key factors here; versatility and color are also important. Yes, red is still the "hot" color, but its magig works in a conservative suit as well as in a form-fitting knit dress. Women should also consider violets and pinks. And, of course, black is always seductive when coupled with the right body, the right style, and the right attitude.

However, it takes more than color to make you unforgettable. Update your wardrobe, but be careful to select clothing to accent your best features and camouflage your flaws. If you have fat knees or bowed legs, no short skirts, please. Try longer skirts or a fashionable pants suit. Shapely legs are indeed an asset, and with today's wide range of fashionable clothing, there are plenty of opportunities to show them off.

Sexy men don't wear bell-bottoms, ill-fitting suits, and lint-covered sweaters. Yes, flattering attire is just as important to a man's appeal as it is to a woman's. If you have a broad chest, then show it off during your leisure hours. And business suits can be a big turn-on for many women, especially if the suits are well-tailored from quality fabrics.

Both men and women should take care with how they look during their leisure time and when retiring in the evening. Get rid of those tattered bathrobes and frayed gym pants. Invest a little time and money in silky lingerie and take not of how your sex life improves.

* SKIN CARE--The skin can be one of your most sexually appealing assets, and both men and women should take great pains to ensure that their skin stays soft, beautiful and healthy. On a regular basis, exfoliate the skin on the entire body with a cream or loofah sponge. Use creams and lotions to help your skin retain its natural moisture. Use a good facial cleanser keyed to your skin type, followed by an astringent for oily skin and toner for dry skin, and then a moisturizer.

For women, makeup should be natural looking to accent their best features rather than an attempt to create a new face. Too much makeup can leave you looking cheap and unattractive. Both men and women should take extra care with their lips, which can be a very appealing asset. Keep them moisturized to prevent chapping and splitting.