25 gifts every black woman should give herself for Christmas - Brief Article

Ebony, Dec, 1997 by Laura B. Randolph

As usual, it was a blast. One of the best times I've had all year. And not just be cause the eggnog was delicious, the honeybaked ham delectable and every single Sister who sat down at the table to enjoy them both had cleared her calendar of everything--babies, business, boyfriends.

As I've mentioned before in this column, before my Sister-friends and I get caught up in celebrating the season--the marathon of tree-trimming/party-giving/gift-shopping/mall hopping--we have a tradition: At an annual holiday luncheon, we set aside our diets and our deadlines and spend an entire afternoon celebrating one another.

As we found out from the first time we did it, there is something empowering about a gathering of Black women, something amazingly affirming and good for the soul. As my friend Beth so eloquently describes the experience: "It's a major surgery for the spirit."

She's right, of course. Which is why, for my 10 closest Sister-friends and me, our all-female holiday luncheon has become more than a time to stuff ourselves on drumsticks and dressing and catch up on one another's lives. I don't know how or when it happened, but in the 10 years we have been having them, this annual get-together has grown into a not-to-be-missed tradition as sacred as homemade rolls and sweet potato pies, an afternoon when we give each other the most precious gift of all--our time, our attention, our Christmas presence--instead of mere store-bought Christmas presents.

Sometimes the luncheon is uproarious (like the time my friend Sharon told us about the first time she cooked Christmas dinner for her husband's family and discovered at the table that she had left the bag of giblets in the turkey) and sometimes it is uplifting (when she described the way her mother-in-law, bless her heart, acted like finding the giblet bag in the bird was no big deal and saved the dinner and the evening by calling out for pizza), but this year it was both.

That's because, after we finished dessert and someone re-spiked the eggnog, we all sat around the table and compiled a list of gifts that every Black woman in America should give herself for Christmas. Here's what our group of Sister Santas came up with, but in the spirit of the season, you should feel free to add your own:

1. A Saturday night devoted to major sobbing.

2. A Sunday afternoon sitting around a table with a Black child (your own or someone else's) singing Christmas carols and putting popcorn and cranberries on a string.

3. The fulfillment of a fantasy.

4. The abandonment of an old, worn-out one.

5. A subscription to at least one magazine designed to affirm and empower us.

6. Time to reflect on all you have accomplished during the year.

7. Time to plan what you want to accomplish in the new one.

8. Expensive champagne.

9. Cheap take-out.

10. A copy of Debrena Jackson Gandy's inspirational book, Sacred Pampering Principles: An African-American Woman's Guide to Self-Care and Inner Renewal.

11. At least one day a month devoted to each.

12. Absolute power to delegate without guilt.

13. A foot massage.

14. The opportunity to grow and heal.

15. A night of passion.

16. A day of solitude.

17. A long phone conversation--at least two hours--with a cherished girlfriend you've been too busy to catch up with all year.

18. A substantial contribution to your IRA.

19. Permission not to be perfect.

20. A head-turning, heart-stopping new dress for New Year's Eve.

21. Shoes and jewelry to match.

22. The African American Devotional Bible.

23. Fifteen minutes of quiet time a day to read it.

24. Breakfast in bed.

25. A hiatus from all worries about work, weight and what you don't have.