The do's and don'ts of the new dating rules

Ebony, Dec, 1997 by Lynn Norment

9. Don't make a commitment to the uncommitted. "Commitment is not commitment without two consenting parties," says Chapman.

10. Be real. Be yourself. Make sure you have something to offer. If you appreciate who you are, others will appreciate you as well.

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1. Don't date a woman who is overly interested in your salary.

2. Don't date a Daddy's Girl or a woman who hates her father.

3. Don't expect sex on the first date or any date until you are sure she feels the same way. Don't let passion influence your actions. Don't be pushy. No means no.

4. Be a gentleman. Open doors. Help her with her coat. Pull out her chair. Women appreciate chivalry.

5. Do not ask a woman her age, her weight, her clothing size, or "Is that your real hair?"

6. Be honest about your intentions. "At every stage of the dating game, men should explain what their commitment level is and isn't," advises therapist Dr. Ronn Elmore. "If you are dating others, say so. If you want it to be exclusive, then say so. Initiate the commitment conversation and save a lot of grief later on."

7. Don't be cheap. If you ask her out, then you pay for the first date and other outings until you have an understanding. If you can't afford dinner or a movie, then ask her to meet you for dessert and coffee. Have fun getting to know each other.

8. Don't be overwhelmed by a woman's appearance. Make sure she has more going for her than a pretty face and a great body.

9. Don't pull the old disappearing act. If you are not interested after the first date, or the first few dates, don't tell her you will call and then don't. Be honest. Simply tell her that it's not working out, that it's not a love match, and that it is no fault of hers.

10. Be real. Be yourself. Make sure you have something to offer. If you appreciate who you are, others will appreciate you as well.