10 couples who know tell how to make love last: these happy couples agree that friendship and compromise are key to marital longevity

Ebony, Feb, 1991 by Lynn Norment

SOME people enter into marriage simply and blindly and find exceptional happiness. Others devote small fortunes and meticulous planning to elaborate ceremonies, only to have them marred by terrible relationships.

In fact, 2.4 million couples were married in 1989, but another 1.2 million were divorced that year.

Thousands of books and articles are filled with advice on how to find true love, build a happy marriage, repair a troubled union, and then make graceful exit when you can't.

But no advice is superior to that from those who really know--happily married individuals who breathe life into the words they speak. Here we offer marital wisdom from 10 couples who have survived the highs and lows of marriage for 11 to 35 years.

From public officials to media executives to factory workers, these spouses tell about the first time they met.

After courtships that varied from four months to seven years, most had small, private services--at City Hall, in a pastor's study, or at parent's homes--attended by close family and friends. One couple got married in a bird santuary, another eloped to Las Vegas, and several honeymooned in exotic places. All insist that if they could start all over, they'd pick the same mates.

"Marriage is all about learning to give and take, and appreciate each other," says Marlon Jackson, who adds that Carol, his wife of 15 years, is a great person and wife.

Ginger Sullivan agrees. Her 35 years of marriage to Health and Human Services Secretary Dr. Louis Sullivan gives her valuable insight. "Make your spouse the center of your universe," she advises. "If you keep each other No. 1, then you can make it."