How to get your life together in 1994

Ebony, Feb, 1994 by Karima A. Haynes

FOR most of us, New Year's resolutions have a way of fizzling out almost as soon as we utter them. It's not that we're not committed to making changes in our fives, it's just that we don't know how to get started or how to keep going once we do.

At the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve, we resolve to et in shape, spend more time with loved ones, get our career in gear or spend less and save more money. But after a few weeks into the new year, those plans seem to disappear.

To avoid feelings of guilt and failure that often come with broken resolutions, we asked leading experts in personal finance, career counseling, relationships and physical fitness for surefire tips on how to make our dreams a reality in 1994.

If, for example, we resolved to find the man or woman of our dreams in 1994, we must stop dreaming and start planning.

First, we should sit down at once and make a list of our strengths and weaknesses (be ruthlessly honest), and start emphasizing the strengths and minimizing the weaknesses. Secondly, we should make a list of the realistic qualities we prefer in a mate. And, thirdly, we should draft a battle plan and follow it by becoming visible in churches, community organizations, political campaigns and other places frequented by desirable singles.

If we follow this plan, experts say, although we might not get married immediately, we will certainly begin the process of discovering and liking our true selves.

Another priority in the new year should be bettering our relationships with others. We can do this by becoming better listeners, being more empathetic and by giving the other person the benefit the doubt.

"I find that a lot of people are unnecessarily provocative," observes Dr. Alvin Poussaint, professor of psychiatry at the Harvard University School of Medicine. "We need to be more careful not to say hurtful things that put down other people. I think that we really need to try to work at treating other people with regard and with respect."

To get our personal relationships together in 1994, we need to avoid getting so caught up in the pressures of daily living that we forget to show our loved ones how much we appreciate them.

"We must remember that the people closest to us are the most important people," Dr. Poussaint advises. "We need to take the time to do things together and stop being so busy."

We can do thoughtful things for one another, experts suggest, such as give each other words of praise and small gifts as well as to do things together as a couple or family.

"One thing that has sort of disappeared from a lot of homes is the dinner hour," Dr. Poussaint says. "It became a cliche in the '50s talk about family togetherness, but I think that it is a relevant issue in 1994."

The start of the new year is also the time to get our careers in gear. Diversity, flexibility and a wide-ranging knowledge of our professions, career experts say, will be the keys to success in the workplace of 1994.

"Getting your career together in 1994 means knowing the trends and developments in not only your field or related domestic fields but in the international marketplace as well," advises Dr. Jeffalyn Johnson, a management consultant and former executive director of planning, evaluation and budget and executive assistant to the president of Northern Florida University in Jacksonville, Fla.

The days of specializing in one particular area are gone, Johnson says. To be successful in 1994, we must not only understand our fields, but related fields as well. For example, it would be wise for a dentist to not only know how to treat patients, but to also have a command of the business principles needed to operate a successful practice.

For those of us considering a job change in the new year; Johnson cautions that we become knowledgeable about the trends in our newly chosen field before making a switch.

It's important to look at things like balance sheets, profit margins, market penetration, growth potential and stock reports," Johnson counsels. "You don't want to make a career change into a dying industry."

As sure as a champagne flows on New Year's Eve, we all pledge to get our personal finances in order in the new year. The vow becomes all the more serious once those credit-card bills start rolling in from our last-minute holiday shopping sprees.

How can we save money and still maintain our current lifestyle? We can't. Saving money involves sacrifice. We have to change our spending habits if we want to see a change in our financial bottom line.

Perhaps the most common source of personal debt is the amount we owe on our credit cards which, finance experts say, should be less than 15 percent of our monthly net income, excluding mortgage payments.

"When you realize that you are in credit-card trouble, you have to recognize what you got in credit-card debt in the first place," says Charles Ross, author of Your Commonsense Guide to Personal Financial Planning. "If you haven't changed your spending habits."

Getting out of credit-card debt -- and other types of debt -- is not impossible, as long as systematic debt reduction plans is in place.