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Ebony, April, 1990 by Lynn Norment

Though she always had a close relationship with her brother, Chris, a recent Georgetown University graduate, she regretted not having more siblings. She loved big family gatherings and enjoyed a "sisterly" relationship with three first cousins.

Vanessa and Ramon both emphasize the importance of a solid family structure to individual couples like themselves and to Black America in general. "I feel that we as Black people have let that responsibility get away from us," says Ramon, whose mother, Winnie Hervey, lives in the Los Angeles area and spends a lot of time with the children. "We can have more control over our destiny if we make the family infrastructure strong."

He also says that Vanessa is a "very dedicated" mother. "Her children are the most important things in her life, which is the way it should be. She has accepted total responsibility of being a mother, a working mother, a professional--life never slows her down."

Indeed, Vanessa seems to have worked out a sensible approach to commingling motherhood and her busy career. A typical day starts at about 6:30 a.m. and doesn't end until late evening. By then, she will have changed dozens of diapers, fixed an assortment of meals, and gone up and down the staircas more times than she'd care to remember. Three days a week, she takes Melanie to a "Mommy and Me" class, where they both join other tots and moms for gym, music and dance lessons.

In addition, there is the shopping ("I hate grocery shopping," she says.), the household errands, the gardening, the meals that must be prepared. However, she readily admits that though she has a few special dishes she has "mastered," Ramon is such a good cook that she was truly intimidated when she first met him. "He's into meal 'presentation,' his whole family is," she says. "So it's rubbing off on me."

Then there are her own classes and fitness sessions, in addition to the numerous auditions for acting roles, meetings with writers and producers concerning her new album, and then actually going into the studio.

Somehow, she manages to look fresh and vibrant despite it all.

"Black women have been doing this [working and rearing a family] forever," she says. "It is really not a question of how you can do it. It needs to be done, and you do it . . . There are so many single family households, and Black women have to be strong to keep their families together. Being a Black woman, I think that is one of the roles, the strengths you just acquire. I think we are a strong people."

When asked what she wants to instill in her children, she says it is something her parents instilled in her: "to believe in themselves, that they can do anything they really want to do," she says. "My parents really taught me that there are no limitations, that you can do anything you want.

"I recall my mother telling me that just because you are Black, you are going to have to work 100 percent more than everyone else just to be considered equal," recalls Vanessa. "That is unfair, but it is the reality of the situation." She adds that she doesn't think that the world will be any fairer to her daughters in terms of race relations.