What it's really like to be married to a superstar: love in the fast lane brings superjoys and superproblems - includes related article on Pauletta Washington

Ebony, April, 1991 by Kim Van Dang

What It's Really Like To Be Married To A Superstar

BEING married to a star can be an uncommonly exciting, frequently intoxicating ride. For starters, you deal in glamor the way bankers deal in cash. And almost everyone spoils you. "People have a tendency to want to give celebrities preferential treatment -- choice seats at concerts, the best rooms in hotels, no waiting for a table at restaurants--so any spouse of a celebrity gets the benefit of that," says Ramon Hervey, husband of singer/actress Vanessa Williams.

Which brings up another perk: Money. Since fame and fortune in the entertainment world often come hand-in-hand, not only is cash not a problem, you can spend heaps of it indulging your every fancy. Like $500-a-day spas ("Worth every cent," says one Hollywood wife who begged for anonymity), spur-of-the-moment trips ("We have our own plane," says Ann Davis, wife of Amen star Clifton Davis), vacations in the world's most glamorous spots ("The French Riviera is heaven," sighs Glinda Manley, wife of Phoenix Cardinals All-Pro defensive lineman Dexter Manley).

Even your everyday experiences are the stuff of fantasy. Take for example, Glinda's last birthday. While most wives were making do with cake and a card, Dexter surprised her with a shoulder-to-hem blue iris mink. Last year, for their 10th wedding anniversay, Houston Oilers star quarterback Warren moon surprised his wife, Felicia, with a five-karat diamond ring. Christmas morning at the homes of recording star JEffrey Osborne and Video Soul host Donnie Simpson could have been episodes for Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. Jeffrey's gift to his wife, Sheri? A 20-karat diamond necklace ("He put it on a Teddy Bear"), which he later followed with matching earrings. Three karats. Each.

Unlike Sheri's and Felicia's diamonds, Pam Simpson's gift--a new Mercedes--was too large for Donnie to wrap so he got creative. "He had Santa Claus drive it to the house and hand me the keys," recalls Pam, still knocked out by the memory.

In addition to lavish gifts, there's always the A-list party circuit. Since your spouse's name appears in all the best Rolodexes, you get to attend the glitziest affairs (Grammys, Emmys, Oscars) and mingle with the beautiful, the famous and the powerful. "I still think about my first White House reception," says Ann Davis. "It's just something you never forget."

And for a lucky few spouses of political stars, the glitz pales in comparison to the rare and remarkable chance to sit in the front row of history. "We have a unique opportunity to view and even participate in textbook history," explains Valerie Jackson, wife of Atlanta Mayor Maynard Jackson. Last summer, for example, while millions strained for just a glimpse of Nelson Mandela during his historic U.S. tour, Jackson and her family received a personal--and unforgettable--introduction to the African National Congress leader. "All of that will be in the history textbooks and my children will say, 'Well, yes, I remember Mr. Mandela,' or 'I met Miss Winnie,'" says Jackson.

Sound like your idea of heaven? Of course. Theirs too, said all of the celebrity spouses we talked with. But, they warned, the limousine life isn't a trouble-free ride. Beneath the patina of glamor lies a negative side. In this exclusive report, several celebrity spouses share with EBONY the unique, often harrowing, difficulties of life with a luminary.

* Constant Public Scrutiny: Turmoil is something all marriages go through most couples, however, don't have to work through it with millions of strangers watching. Sure, say celebrity spouses, when you're married to a star, public curiosity comes with the territory. But, having the most intimate details of your private life dissected in scathing detail in newspapers, living rooms and barber shops across the country never gets easy. As Glinda Manley puts it, "Everybody knows where, when, who and what time something happens."

The scrutiny can be mildly annoying (like the time Vanessa Williams surprised Ramon with a romantic birthday boat ride only to be spotted and beset upon by a group of camera-wielding, autograph-seeking fans) or acutely disruptive. When, for example, Warren Moon planned a romantic dinner (complete with champagne, flowers and a secluded corner table) to surprise Felicia with her anniversary ring, she couldn't even get tge box unwrapped before his fans deluged him with autograph requests. "It was clearly a private moment," recalls Moon, "but people kept asking for autographs anyway. One woman asked Warren if he'd mind posing for a picture with her. I said, 'I don't know if he minds, but I certainly do.'"

Even routine outings--a trip to the grocery store, shopping in the mall, walking down the street--are constant reminders of how precious, and remote, personal privacy is. "I was used to being anonymous," says Valerie Jackson of her pre wife-of-the-mayor life. "I could walk down the street with no makeup and chewing gum and not care. But I'm no longer anonymous."