Modern parenting: sharing the load

Larry, who began his computer operation four years ago, says it's sometimes challenging to find activities for the children after school or during school breaks. "It would be great to hire someone to be here all the time, " says the 34-year-old Larry, who sees their dual career situation as slightly less than ideal. "But it's nice to be here and have input. " Larry is also the boys' little league baseball coach.

Oftentimes Michelle's schedule causes her to miss the children's homework sessions and Saturday morning baseball games, but she makes a special effort to attend the majority of the PTA meetings and teacher conferences, which tend to fall on her off days.

The Rachals have a housekeeper who comes in once a week, but the couple do split light household chores.

"I hear so many women say they have to do everything, but that's not right, " says Michelle. "When you're married and have children, you gotta do what you gotta do to make it right." For her, that sometimes means reading books or bathing her children after a long day at the salon, or spending quality time with husband, Larry.

Chicagoans Lolita and Fred Bates are yet another set of professionals who stay energized by the rigor of balancing home life with their careers. Although they hold demanding daytime jobs, 30-year-old Lolita, an assistant buyer for MCI Telecommunications, and 32-year-old Fred, founder of a small law firm, both say their roles as parents far outweigh the challenges of their careers. "I'd like to shoot the people who told us to have our children close together," teases Fred about their feisty 2 1/2-year-old daughter, Genevieve, and perky 3 1/2-year-old son, Robert. He's only half joking when he says, "From a parental standpoint, having had two [children] in diapers at the same time was a nightmare.

Life was a little more orderly for the couple of four years when Fred was a partner at a major Chicago law firm a while back, but once he opened up his own firm last August, the homefront became a scene of "utter chaos," according to Lolita, who takes on a larger share of the cooking and child care task than she used to. "There was a lot of frustration at first" she explains, "because a lot of things that Fred participated in initially, he couldn't any longer."

But they've learned to manage.

By 6 a.m., the Bates are up. While Fred dresses the kids, Lolita squeezes in a quick shower and dresses. She almost always takes the children to day care now, she says, unless she's running really late.

By the time Fred gets home in the evening, usually around 9 p.m., the children have been put to bed and Lolita is already preparing for the next day's race with the clock. Yet, they still try to spend a little time together, she says, "Even if it's just reviewing the highlights of the day or watching Nightline together."

Like many professionals, the only time that the Bates can really designate as family time is on the weekends. Although Fred goes to the office over the weekends, he prepares a big breakfast on Saturday. Lolita takes her turn on Sunday.