Sex appeal: what it is and what makes women take a second look

Ebony, April, 1997 by Lynn Norment

Sex appeal. It's a certain look, a particular style, the way a man carries himself. Or it might be his smile, a chiseled physique or lush lips. What catches a woman's eye and attracts her attention to a man varies from female to female, but it all boils down to sex appeal.

Some women are attracted to a man by his physical qualities, such as an athletic body or gently piercing eyes or great teeth, while others are captivated by more ethereal qualities, such as intelligence and spirituality. A number of women also report that among the first things they notice are a man's hands and shoes. "I find myself forced to stare at a man's feet," says recording artist Jean Carne. The Rev. Bernice A. King says she is attracted to a man with a "deep sexy voice and a handsome smile," as well as one with a "sense of humor."

Following are the responses of African-American women from across the country--from educators to doctors to college students to entertainers--who were asked: What makes a man most attractive to you? Is it a physical quality or external characteristic, such as height, complexion, body build, the sound of his voice? Or is it a personality or intellectual trait such as sensitivity, intellectual curiosity, a generous spirit, a kind heart? What particular quality in a man grabs the Black woman's attention and turns her head? What do Black women consider sexually appealing?

Rolonda Watts, television talk-show host, New York City

"I look at the way a man carries himself, how he walks into a room. I listen to his conversation and look for intelligence and a sense of humor. I love men of adventure, the spur-of-the-moment type who likes to travel and have fun. I like a man who keeps his body in shape and nails clean."

Denise Nicole Collins, junior economics major, Spelman College, Atlanta

"I am attracted to physical as well as mental characteristics. A man who takes care of himself cares about himself and pays attention to details, and that is very important in a relationship. Once I am attracted to someone, I explore his personality. I want a strong risk-taker who isn't afraid to communicate his feelings."

Star Jones, senior correspondent for the television show Inside Edition, Los Angeles

"In order for a man to pique my interest, he must be smart; not just book smart but life smart. He must have a sense of humor, be kind, gentle, handsome, compassionate and passionate. He must know who he is, what he wants from life and have a plan of action to accomplish it. He must be successful in his own right, recognizing that success is not a destination, it is a journey. He must be strong so he can deal with my at-times overwhelming personality; and he must know and love the Lord because all else falls into place when you have God in your life."

Helen Davis Gardner, M.D., Chicago

"What attracts my attention is a man with an engaging smile. A self-confident stride is sure to turn many heads. An honest, forthright and intelligent introduction with the ability to entertain ideas that represent a sense of being well-read on various subjects."

Bernice A. King, minister and author of the book Hard Questions, Heart Answers, Atlanta

"What is attractive to me is a man with a true love for Jesus Christ. A strong yet gentle and sensitive spirit, a deep sexy voice and a handsome smile. He should also be well-versed and traveled, adventurous, self-assured, ambitious and financially secure. I consider sex appeal a well-groomed, well-dressed, tall, medium brown-skinned man with expressive eyes and a hairy chest, a man who is debonair with a touch of ruggedness and is a deep thinker with a sense of humor. What gets my attention is a man with charisma and presence, a well-defined athletic physique."

Phoebe Beasley, professional artist and radio advertising account manager, Los Angeles

"The qualities I admire most in men are the loving and respectful ways they relate to their family and friends. The ability to bring a sense of excitement and energy to each new day. And a gift of humor, which allows a man to recognize his own humorous shortcomings."

Veda Howard, recent college graduate and events producer, Edgewater Park, N.J.

"Someone who is tall and resembles a teddy bear would turn my head. However, personality is a major factor in my being truly attracted to a man. A responsible Christian man with a sense of humor, intelligence and compassion would be perfect. Essentially, a funny, kind, God-fearing, chocolate teddy bear."

Nina Staples, state government administrator, Memphis

"I love to hear the strong, confident energetic voice of a Black man. I love to hear a Black man laugh. I am attracted to men who value family, friendship and culture. A Brother who is conscious of his spirituality and health is a diamond in the rough. It's refreshing to meet a man who can be honest and supportive comfortably. Beautiful is also well-groomed and at least 6-foot-1."

Leticia Harrison, law student, St. Louis University

"What gets my attention is a handsome, dark-complexioned Brother about my age. I like thinner guys. But if he doesn't have an advanced education, traditional family values and earn a decent living, there's no more attraction."