What's behind the older woman-younger man trend?

Ebony, May, 1992 by Lynn Norment

But for an astute mature woman, the positive aspects of dating a younger man far outweigh the negatives. Dr. Berry says younger males bring to a relationship sexual prowess to match a mature woman's sexual appetite, as well as a "fresh new way of looking at lifes experiences.

And younger men simply are available in greater numbers. For a woman in her late 30s, there are considerably more potential partners among men in their 20s and 30s than men in their 40s. "Older professional women find that they simply encounter more younger men who share intellectual and professional interests," says Dr. Berry.

Women who date younger men also report that, unlike men their age or older, younger men are more likely to be supportive of their careers and more attentive to their personal needs. "Younger men just don't have the hangups and they aren't as demanding as older men," says a New York City corporate executive who is involved with a man 15 years younger than she. 'At this point in my life, I can't accept a man telling me what to do while ignoring my needs and desires."

At the same time, younger men find more senior women to be interesting, exciting and involved in progressive endeavors. They are more established and secure in their own activities, and they are likely to have different expectations than their younger counterparts. "Younger women tend to smother the men, and they want to get married and have babies," says Dr. Berry. "Many older women just want relationships, companionship. They are not desperate to get married."

For generations, it has not been uncommon for women to be courted by much more mature gentlemen, some as old as their fathers and grandfathers. While a man who marries a younger woman is praised for his virility and stamina, a woman romantically linked to a much younger man is said to be robbing the cradle. Many among today's more assertive, career-oriented women are more open minded about getting involved with younger men, but some women still prefer not to go public with their relationships for fear of being ridiculed by friends, relatives and professional colleagues.

A Connecticut business woman laments that her mother is upset because shes dating a man eight years younger than she. "More is concerned that down the line he'll leave me for a younger woman," she says. "But that doesn't bother me. Any man might do the same thing, Whats important to me is that he treats me the way I deserve to be treated..

Dr. Berry tells Of a late-40s female entrepreneur in Washington, D.C., who prefers not to be seen in public with her early-30s beau because she feds that her male business associates would conclude that she has poor judgement. "Her male clients probably would have a problem with her dating a man much younger than they are," says Dr. Berry. "Men also are threatened by aging, though jokes usually focus on women."

And most women, whether famous or not, are hesitant when first approached by a younger man. It certainly presented a dilemma for Lisa Fischer. Persuaded by a tape of his "sensuous voice," last summer Fischer accepted an offer to record a duet with Chris Walker for his debut LP, First Time, though she did not really know him. For several weeks prior to the studio date, the two got to know each other over the telephone as they discussed the joint project. "He sounded so wonderful," recalls Fischer. "I imagined he was six-foot-nine, with a beard and smoking a pipe. When he said he was only 23, I started getting depressed. And when we finally met in the studio, he was even more handsome than I had imagined."