The truth about women's networks

Ebony, June, 1996 by Lynn Norment

On more than one occasion, talk-show queen Oprah Winfrey has referred to renowned poet and writer Maya Angelou as "my spiritual mentor."

When Grammy Award-winning gospel singer CeCe Winans needs someone to talk to, she turns to singer Whitney Houston, is in her close network friends and family.

But Sister-friends and women's networks extend far beyond the glittery borders of show business. Black women across America use networking, mentoring and emotion support groups to help start careers, enhance jobs, find baby-sitters, attorneys, doctors a other service providers, even to get leads on eligible men. Such networks also are used to hash out the frustrations and woes that are inherent in careers and life in the fast lane. From ancient African societies to the Sisterhoods that sustained slave communities to the women's networks of the '90s, Black women have always depended on one another for emotional support and stability.

While networking was the buzz word of the '80s, it has evolved from a trendy, sometimes empty endeavor that resulted in a purse full of business cards to a more serious, more personal and more spiritual endeavor. Black women have come to realize that they need one another and that the infamous "old boys' network" serves a function--providing emotional support, reinforcing self-esteem and generating valuable referrals--that can and should be emulated.

And the higher up the power echelon you go, the tighter and more valuable the personal web of contacts and friends become. Take Oprab Winfrey, for example. As chair and CEO of Harpo Entertainment Group, Oprah is the first Black female and one of only a handful of women to own her own television and film production facility. She is worth millions, and each year she makes more millions. When Oprah needs business advice, she calls on peers like Bill Cosby and Quincy Jones. But when she really wants some heart-to-heart Sister talk, she turns to confidante Maya Angelou and her longtime buddy Gayle King Bumpus, a news anchor in Hartford, Conn. "Maya is one of my mentors," she said on one of her shows not too long ago. "She told me to stop and thank God first."

On another occasion, Oprab said: "Maya has the ability to draw people together. You always know you're going to leave feeling more whole than when you came." At a party that Oprah threw for Angelou's birthday in 1993, the renowned writer said: "Oprah, beautiful, tough and bodacious, is the kind of daughter I would have wanted to have."

Over the years, Oprah has talked openly about the close bond she shares with Gayle King Bumpus. The two television personalities think nothing of calling each other in the middle of the night when a crisis erupts and they often spend holidays and vacations together. It was rumored some years ago that Oprah gave her best friend a million dollars, in addition to other expensive gifts. Neither would confirm or deny the reports.

Like Oprah, working women, as well as those who decide to stay home and rear families, need their own personal web of love," as one corporate executive calls it. They all need someone to confide in, someone with whom they can be themselves and say whatever is on their minds and in their hearts without fearing what the other person will drink or that she will share confidential disclosures with others.

CeCe Winans, the Grammy Award-winning gospel singer, says "family, friends and love" are very important to her. She adds that she doesn't have Many close friends in whom she can confide: just her husband and manager, Alvin Love, her mother, gospel singer Delores Winans, and her best friend, Whitney Houston. Whitney is my sister," she says. "It is hard for me to remember how famous she is sometimes. But I've told her that I might have to drop her because she is just too famous," she says in jest. "But we talk about everything there is to talk about. She's a down-to-earth person. When we met, it was as though God just put her in my life. I love her and we talk about every thing. She's a mom now. [CeCe has two children herself.] The show business side of our careers. Family. We treasure each other's friendship."

On numerous occasions, Whitney also has expressed fondness for CeCe, who was a bridesmaid in Whitney's wedding and is godmother to her daughter. "When we first met [about eight years ago], it was a spontaneous connection," Whitney says. It was just instant love.... I know I can count on CeCe. What's the line in that song? When I come to you with hurt and truth, I know that you'll stay with me."' In addition to establishing that web of love, support and friendship, Black women use their Sister networks to advance careers and personal growth. Whitney, by then already famous, sang backup on CeCe and brother Bebe's albums, Heaven (1988) and Different Lifestyles (1991). She also tagged CeCe to sing the duet, "Count On Me," with her on the current best-selling Waiting to Exhale soundtrack. The best friends sang the moving duet during this year's Grammy Awards broadcast, and before millions of viewers they referred to each other as "Sister."