where the men are: the 10 best cities

Ebony, July, 1993 by Douglas C. Lyons

THEY sit three, four, sometimes six to a table. Smart, attractive and single, these Black women clearly outnumber their male counterparts. Happy hour--the end of another workweek and the beginning of a social ritual where one question seems to dominate: where are the Black men?

Finding an eligible Black man, as almost any single "sister" will tell you, has become an increasingly difficult task. Much is made of the "man-shortage," and in some cities Black women labor under the notion that for every available Black man, there are at least seven willing Black women.

Black women, in fact, do outnumber Black men, but in many communities the figures may not be as bad as many people think.

A check by EBONY of the U.S. Census figures for metropolitan areas with 100,000 or more Black residents identified 10 cities where the ratio of single Black men and single Black women between 18 and 34 is relatively close.

In one city, San Diego, the single Black male population actually exceeds that of Black females. According to the Census figures, there are 100 eligible Black men between the ages of 18 and 34 for every 57 single Black women in the same age category.

Norfolk, Va., New Orleans and Baltimore, are the next three cities in the rankings. Women outnumber men in those communities, but the ratio between them is relatively close.

At the other end of the statistical spectrum, Buffalo, N.Y., is perhaps the worst city for Black singles. For every 100 Black men, there are a whopping 152 Black women.

Black women in Jackson, Miss., Cincinnati and Birmingham, Ala., live in communities that also ranked near the bottom of the survey. They face a more competitive social scene as the numbers of single Black women average between 132 to 134 for every 100 single Black men.

Demographers and sociologists point to the large pool of Black men in the U.S. military to explain the single Black men statistics in San Diego and Norfolk.

"There are areas [of the country] where there are more men or a fairly healthy balance of men to women," says Audrey Chapman, a family and marriage therapist in Washington, D.C. "San Diego is known as one of the best places for women to meet men because of the military bases."

The experts also insist that the Census figures dispel the sometimes mythological perceptions that single Black women outnumber their male counterparts by huge margins.

Jacqueline Jackson is one single "sister" who believes the numbers. A 36-year-old administrator at the San Diego Urban League, she describes the dating scene in her city in rather glowing terms.

"I don't know if we would ever make the ideal situation," she says. "I'm sure you'll find someone who will say that they are having some difficulties. But, I wouldn't relocate. I don't care how wonderful the jobs are in, say, Washington, D.C. That's not a place where I'd want to go."

A longtime resident of this Southern California community, Jackson ticks off a number of social "pluses" for single women, including a large pool of Black men in military, government and private industry jobs, and a large number of African and Caribbean men who attend area colleges and universities. She admits that the city's Black community is spread out over a wide area, often making it difficult for singles to meet. But, she says, jazz concerts, "First Friday" happy hours, fraternity and sorority parties, community group events and officers' club parties remain the best ways for single Black women to meet single Black men.

"The weather is lovely, and we're close to Mexico," she says. "We have a pleasant climate, the beach, the mountains. San Diego is a resort-type community, and we're only 110 miles from Los Angeles and six hours from Las Vegas. There's a lot to do in a comfortable environment."

Norfolk, the statistical second city for Black singles, also boasts of a cozy ratio between young Black men and women. According to the Census figures, there are 104 single Black women between 18 and 34 for every 100 eligible Black men in that age group.

Alexis Savage, a 28 year-old transportation specialist, is one single woman living in this military community who enjoys a robust dating life. She has gone out with naval officers and pilots who are considered prize catches.

"Right now, I'm running into an over-abundance of men," she says. "I used to have a wall up against the military. But my horizons have broadened, and I don't rule them out. The military is just their job. If someone gets up, goes to work and gives an honest eight hours, then I have no problems with it."

San Diego, Norfolk, and the other cities that scored high in the Census, seem to have enough attractions to entice single sisters. But before hopping a plane looking for Mr. Right, there are other facts to consider. While the figures tell an interesting story, they don't necessarily tell the whole story.

For starters, the Census data doesn't measure an individual's personal or sexual preferences.

Black men dating White women, for example, cause most single Black women to see red in almost any community. On any given night along Norfolk's Virginia Beach Boulevard, the dating scene is brisk. However, according to some observers, most of the mingling doesn't occur between the single women packing the boulevard's Black nightclubs and Black men in the military.