Husbands of powerful women: caring, confident spouses talk about life in the shadows of high-profile mates

Ebony, July, 1996 by Lisa Jones Townsel

HIGH-POWERED, high-profile Black women have shattered stereotypes, overcome barriers and inched their way to the ton of their fields--some wielding power in public office, others in executive corporate suites and still others in the halls of academia. But these women, many representing substantial "firsts," didn't walk alone; they had, and continue to have, the unyielding love and support of the No. 1 men in their lives--husbands who are confident enough in themselves and their own professions to step aside and, sometimes, stand in the shadows, while they take center stage.

There's nothing new about one spouse supporting the advances of the other. But the husbands featured here put a new spin on the loyal spouse issue. Among this new breed are Dr. Morris A. Washington, a physicist with Lucent Technologies and husband of Dr. Shirley Ann Jackson, chair of the U.S. Nuclear Regulatory Commission; Dr. Elwyn C. Lee, student affairs vice president at the University of Houston and husband of Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee, D-Texas; Steven L. Belton, a trial attorney, law firm partner and husband of Minneapolis Mayor Sharon Sayles Belton; John Clark, a retired building contractor and husband of Dr. Niara Sudarkasa, president of Lincoln University (Pa.); Art Robinson Jr., a health education specialist with the Centers for Disease Control and husband of Spelman College President Dr. Johnnetta B. Cole; and Otha K. Council, a florist/landscaper and husband of Brenda J. Council, senior counsel for Union Pacific Railroad Co. in Omaha, Neb.

All of these men agree that it takes a man-sized portion of confidence and a strong sense of self to adjust to the perks and problems that come with being married to a woman of power and clout. On the one hand, these men say their wives' prestigious positions have opened doors to power galas, White House v sits and exotic travels. On the other hand, these in-the-shadow spouses say they find themselves regularly ignored during social events. And when they are noticed, they are frequently referred to as so-and-so's husband. Mix in commuter marriages (which a few of these couples maintain) and children and you have the making for a life full of pomp and challenging circumstances. As one of the husbands featured here said: "Everyday I discover that being supportive of a high-profile woman beats competing with her."

Some of these men met and married their executive wives before their jet-setting careers took off; others married much later. But they all say it's been a life-changing, mind-altering adjustment, especially in a society that expects the man to have the critically important job and tends to devalue him if he doesn't.

Dr. Elwyn Lee says he had to grow into the role of a supportive spouse. But he has had lots of practice. Before his wife, Sheila Jackson Lee, was elected to Congress in 1994, Dr. Lee, a Yale Law School grad and university vice president, helped her on numerous local campaigns, including her successful bids for an associate municipal judgeship and later as one of the first Black female at-large members of the Houston City Council.

Both Dr. Lee and his bride dreamed of pursuing political careers, but it became apparent early on that she had what it took to succeed. "It was clear that she was great on boards and was a great public speaker," he says. "Now, my role is that of the supporter." The devoted husband says he doesn't mind accepting the undervalued supportive role because he feels he has directly contributed to his wife's success and, he says, he is proud to pick up where many Black women left off--supporting their Black men. "We don't have enough role models for women taking the lead and going forward," Dr. Lee says. "In that way, I'm doing what women have been doing all along--supporting their spouse's achievements."

Dr. Lee says he is extremely proud of his wife, but he adds that the family's new lifestyle came at a price. The most difficult pelt about juggling public life with everyday obligations, he says, is that parenting responsibilities "fall primarily" on him while his wife commutes between D.C. and Houston during the week. So in addition to running a university department with a multimillion-dollar budget, Dr. Lee must also see to it that their two children, Erica and Jason do their homework as well as make it to soccer practice, Cub Scout meetings and music lessons on time.

Although this scenario would be considered typical for wives of working men who travel to meet the demands of their profession, the new role reversal creates challenges for men, Dr. Lee and others say. "Not everybody can handle this," says Dr. Lee, who must now be more concerned about his appearance and about what he says in public as it may negatively reflect on his wife. He adds: "It helps to have your own world because you're going to be ignored sometimes, and they're going to get your name wrong, too," he says of his brushes with members of the media who constantly refer to him as Mr. Jackson Lee.