Christmas without gifts

National Catholic Reporter, Feb 4, 2005 by Candace Veit, Jane Siebel

Thank you, Jeannette Cooperman, for your column about a holiday without gifts (NCR, Jan. 14). Three years ago I joined Jesuit Volunteer Corps, the largest Catholic volunteer program. As a volunteer I lived on a small personal stipend and therefore could not afford to give my family and friends gifts. I had not been home for almost six months, so returning to see my friends and family was a gift in itself.

Two Christmases ago I decided to do something different from exchanging gifts. I was inspired by my best friend's family, who made donations to various nonprofits in each others' names. So, I made a different donation for each friend and family member, letting them know of the donation and providing information on the cause if they were unfamiliar with it.

This year, I asked my closest friends if we could just make a nice dinner to enjoy together. It was a great experience with my best friends--finding recipes together and experimenting in the kitchen--and having a meal without a television blasting. So thank you for spreading the word that Christmas is truly about being present to those we love. When could it be a better time to give of your energy and time than when we celebrate Jesus' birth?

CANDACE VEIT

Baltimore

[Candace Veit is area director of the Jesuit Volunteer Corps.]

How eloquently Jeannette Cooperman in her "holiday without gifts" column spoke to my heart. It seemed written for me. The article is framed, waiting to be hung on my bedroom wall. I can't wait till next Christmas to celebrate in just such a way.

This past Christmas I finally said the words, "Let's not exchange presents next year. Let's celebrate with a meal as a family." It felt so freeing to say those words.

Jeannette's article will give me the grace next year, as I have known in my heart for so long that Christmas with its gift-giving opens the season to disappointment and guilt, comparisons and exhaustion with a huge letdown, a holiday hangover for weeks afterward.

I will be sharing this article with some of the senior citizens in their 80s whom I visit. They feel guilty because they can no longer celebrate as in seasons past. Hopefully this article will encourage them to experience Christmas joy and a wonderful holiday, which they so richly deserve.

JANE SIEBEL

St. Louis