Perks, perils in parsonage life

National Catholic Reporter, April 16, 2004 by Dennis Coday

NASHVILLE, Tenn. -- Men and women married to United Methodist clergy say their families are subject to unrealistic notions of perfection and often suffer from isolation, according to a new study conducted by the church. The survey of 183 clergy spouses found that one-quarter of respondents said they had no one to turn to for pastoral support other than their spouse. Fifteen percent of the respondents were male spouses.

The spouses said their partners suffered from overbooked schedules, inadequate housing, high expectations and a sense of isolation. They called parsonage life "a perk and a peril."

"It is disheartening to know that many clergy spouses perceive they have no pastoral support," said the report compiled by Mackie Norris, a pastor's wife for more than 40 years.

"Many made it clear that they would not use the existing denominational structure for assistance because of fear of the effect on the spouse's career," Norris said in her report.