A tale of resistance under Saddam: punished and shamed for following his conscience, a young Iraqi finds hope in human rights group

National Catholic Reporter, July 30, 2004 by James Loney

"They gave me an injection in my hand and I lost consciousness. When I woke up, I was in pain. I said to myself this isn't real, it's a nightmare, but when I felt my bandaged ear I knew it wasn't a dream."

Sa'ad spent the next two years in prison, during which he experienced continuing physical and mental abuse. "I found many friends," he says. "There were 19 soldiers who were exposed to the same treatment. Some of them had little bits of their ear cut. Some had big pieces cut." He was finally released in December 1996.

"At that time, I thought it was the end of my tragedy, but in fact it was just the beginning. Some people, when they gazed at me in the streets, saw me as a bad one. When I was with my friends, they would greet me and say, 'Hello, traitor,' as a joke, but in fact that cut me. I decided not to go out of my room. I stayed there for four months, never seeing anybody."

Three of Sa'ad's friends came to visit. They gave him some money and, reminding him of an Arabic proverb ("If you don't feel well, visit a grave"), urged him to visit his parents' graves. His mother died when he was 2 years old, his father while he was in prison.

Sa'ad's depression lifted. He found work at a coffee shop for a while. He applied for work at a leather factory but was refused because of his cut ear. Sa'ad burned his identification and forged a new one that did not record his punishment. Nevertheless, he found it impossible to find work. His cut ear "became something shameful for me. It affected all my social relationships."

"One day, I asked for the hand of a woman I wanted to marry." Sa'ad's voice becomes strained. He fights back tears. "Her family refused. They said yes you are good, but you are punished by Saddam Hussein. That is not something honorable for us."

Completely estranged from his family and jobless, Sa'ad was living in a looted Ministry of Trade building when he saw posters announcing that the National Association for the Defence of Human Rights had a group to assist men in his situation.

"I came to this association at first looking for compensation. I found the people in this society to be very responsible. They helped me. Meeting the other victims made me eager to volunteer in this organization to work for peace and to work for my colleagues, my people. So now I like working in this organization and I like my work."

Sa'ad spends his days organizing on behalf of the 3,600 war resisters who were socially and economically disenfranchised by the Saddam regime. He helps them apply for compensation, fill out forms, get assistance from the Ministry of Work and Social Affairs or just listens to their stories. The Ministry of Health recently agreed to offer surgery for war resisters. Fourteen auricular reconstructions have now been done.

"Before the war, I was humiliated, scorned," Sa'ad says. "So now in fact it is not a disgrace, it is not shameful for me. Now I consider this cut a medal of honor for resisting the strongest dictator ever known."

[James Loney was in Iraq from January to February with Christian Peacemaker Teams.]