Families strengthen ties, have fun working as volunteers

National Catholic Reporter, Nov 19, 2004 by Kris Berggren

Partisan ideology and church politics aside, one thing American Catholics can probably agree on is the value of volunteerism as a cornerstone of strong communities. Helping neighbors in need is a hallmark of American identity since the native Wampanoag first shared food and farming tips with struggling English settlers at Plymouth Rock. The obligation to love our neighbor also grounds Catholic social teaching and notions of ecclesial charity, from the local parish emergency fund to the global outreach of Catholic Relief Services.

Today churches, human services agencies, schools and community programs must appeal to people who want to make a difference--and make it home for dinner on time. It makes sense that family volunteering, simply defined as two or more family members participating together in the same activity, is on the upswing. A 2001 report, "America's Family Volunteers," by Independent Sector, a coalition of 700-plus nonprofit organizations, foundations, and corporate philanthropy programs, identifies family volunteering as a growing trend, with 51 percent of volunteers reporting that they have volunteered with family members in 1999, up from 48 percent in 1995; about 28 percent report currently volunteering with family members. In other words, more families' idea of a good time is trying to change the world, not the television channel.

An oasis of time

"Because people are so busy and overwhelmed," said Jenny Friedman, author of The Busy Family's Guide to Volunteering (Robins Lane Press, 2003), "doing community service work with their families is ideal. It becomes an oasis of time doing something meaningful." She said the many benefits of family volunteering include the ability to pass on values like good citizenship, community responsibility, compassion and kindness; a means to break down stereotypes of homeless people, poor people or others different from one's own background; and simply a way to have fun.

The ways families share time and talent vary: Some prefer a regular, long-term commitment to one or two organizations or volunteer opportunities. Others want a variety of one-time or short-term opportunities. Some want to volunteer all together while others encourage and support individual interests. And some make the lifestyle shift to serving the poor through mission work overseas.

Ellen O'Connell of Drexel Hill, Pa., recently returned with her husband, Tim, and son, Devin, 2, from a three-year Maryknoll mission to San Ramon, El Salvador. "God works in us in all different ways and helps us learn and grow in our faith," she said. "We have talked to some people who have never had the experience that we have had. They are just as committed [to social justice] as we are. The spirit works in all different ways."

Families with strong religious ties often find volunteering a hands-on way to live their faith. In fact, 50.2 percent of family volunteers serve with religious organizations, reports Independent Sector, while 30 percent choose human services organizations.

Deb and Bob Cilk of Pleasanton, Calif., caught the volunteer bug while helping out with a cleanup effort after flooding in nearby communities. Now the Cilks' real estate office becomes a drop-off center several times a year for seasonal collections of warm winter clothing and blankets, Halloween costumes and Easter baskets, which they organize and deliver to Operation Dignity, a nonprofit agency in Oakland. Deb uses her extensive e-mail list, places ads in local papers, and personally invites people to donate. When the Cilk children--Shane, 14, Kaitlyn, 12, Rachel, 11, and Julia, 8--and their friends make the trip downtown to drop off donations, Deb noted, "they can see the kids there with no safe place to play," a marked contrast, she said, from their "Beaver Cleaver" hometown.

"What we are trying to instill in our children is to live the faith not by preaching but by doing," she said.

Such activities provide a sense of satisfaction. John and Anne Quincy and their sons Sam, 15, and Joe, 10, put their compassion into action by serving homeless men a hearty breakfast once every couple of months at St. Stephen's Shelter in Minneapolis. Over six years the Quincys have their menu--scrambled eggs, sausage and biscuits for 40--down to a science, said Anne, a Legal Aid attorney. "It's something really practical. We feel like we've accomplished something."

Their work has earned Joe, who's served the homemade biscuits since age 4, a nickname. During Anne's outreach at area drop-in centers and shelters, a client will occasionally remark: "You're the one with the Biscuit Boy!"

Joe good-naturedly acknowledged, "I've gotten to know a lot of the guys."

Christian Br. Louis Rodemann, who lives and works at Holy Family Catholic Worker House in Kansas City, Mo., said families with young children or teenagers offer a unique welcome to street people and those in poverty. "Big eyes and little hands passing an apple or a slice of bread across the table," he said, can be "a pleasant and encouraging experience for our guests."