Power, secrecy feed conspiracy theories in Vatican City

National Catholic Reporter, July 31, 1998 by John L. Jr. Allen

No. 6: The plot to kill Leo X

The Borgias, and especially Alexander VI, get most of the press when it comes to the let-the-good-times-roll spirit of the Renaissance papacy. Truthfully, though, there were a lot of other Catholic dynasties that knew how to have a good time in those days, not least another of the great Italian families, the de' Medici. In fact, no one knew how to paint Rome red better than Giovanni de' Medici, a.k.a. Leo X (1513-1521).

At 7, Giovanni had been made an abbot; he was a cardinal by 13 (he still could not beat Benedict IX's record of becoming pope at 11, however). If the rumors are to be believed, Giovanni was an "adventurous" homosexual. In any event, he took the throne of St. Peter without the usual gaggle of bastard children looking to receive benefices.

What we know about Leo is mostly derived from later historians, many of whom, like Dante, took a dim view of the libertine excesses of this era. In other words, some of what follows may be unreliable -- but it's a damn good yarn nevertheless. Peter De Rosa, among others, recounts the story in his 1988 account, Vicars of Christ (Crown).

Allegedly Giovanni's first words upon becoming pope were, "Now I can really enjoy myself." He wasn't kidding. He became legendary for offering meals of 65 courses or more, during which nightingales might fly out of pies or naked boys out of puddings. His jester once entertained him by eating 40 eggs at one sitting (proving the wisdom of George Kennedy in "Cool Hand Luke" that "no one can eat 50 eggs"). Hundreds of poems were written in honor of Leo's favorite pet, a white elephant, which Leo housed in the Belvedere. The Vatican Library actually contains a diary of the elephant's social engagements.

Leo's income never did match his expenses, despite the royalties he collected from licensing the operation of Rome's brothels. He invented offices in the curia that, he could auction off -- his predecessor had 650 such offices, while Leo had 2,150. He was also a great patron of the arts.

Perhaps due to Leo's cash shortfalls, several cardinals accused him of welching on campaign promises of kickbacks to them and plotted to assassinate him. According to one account, the ringleader of the rebellion hit upon an ingenious strategy: His Holiness was being treated for hemorrhoids, and the doctor was amenable to a bribe. The plan was to insert poison directly into the pontiff's rear end.

The plot backfired when a letter from one conspirator to another was intercepted and relayed to Leo. Under torture, the doctor confessed and was drawn and quartered. Catholic henchmen were prevented under the terms of canon law from dispatching the offending cardinal so Leo hired a Moor to do the deed. Rumor has it that the assassin used a crimson silk cloth to strangle His Eminence -- on Vatican grounds.

Leo continued living the good life for several more years. Meanwhile, it was during his reign, in November 1517, that Martin Luther nailed his famous 95 theses to the door of Wittenberg Cathedral.